Just one of God's louder children ...

Pblog 9 - I look like a Bulbasaur!

2010-10-06T14:11:00.000-07:00

30 weeks has arrived and I must say it all feels quite close to the end now, even though it's another ten weeks to my due date which is over two actual months. Somehow the number 30 makes it all very real, being aware that babies are born any time from 40 weeks (assuming they're not premature or very late).

The groin strain has certainly remained the biggest pest I've had to put up with since being pregnant, by a long shot. Self inflicted - what a numpty I was for running for that bus. Still, it's probably the nature of the job that I was doing until last week and may have happened anyway due to tissues softening.

I get a bit breathless when changing position after a few minutes of being in any given position, which again feels odd since I'm not at all used to being breathless in this sort of way. I can only imagine this is how people with severe weight issues must feel and it helps to gain some insight into that, being from the other end of the scale myself all of my life (having trouble maintaining a healthy weight).

Lying down or sitting seems to be more of a hassle than actually standing or being half-and-half (half laid, half sat). I think this is due to lung space available and also soreness around the hip region which is again due to the softened tissues in that area. It doesn't hurt but more feels like I've been for a long run and a bit sore. Like I've never used these muscles before ... it's very odd if you're not used to it.

I still don't notice my girl moving around much during the daytime and when I'm on the go. When I am quieter and still, or at night, that's when she is the easiest to sense and feel. She isn't always as wriggly as she has been, due to less space I suppose. That said, she is still giving it some in there!

My interest in all things God and Bible-related is still increasing and I am more sure than ever now of what God has called me to do. It's very scary and I know it is only because of Him that I will have any ability to serve in this way at all, but that's as it should be. Someone told me yesterday 'You just don't want your halo to slip, do you!' I laughed and reminded them that any halo I might have had, I ate many years ago. 'All have sinned & fall short of the glory of God' says the book of Romans and I am certainly no exception to that. In fact I join with St Paul in stating that if anything, I am among the most wretched and forgiven amongst the local church where I live and serve ... but she who has been forgiven much, loves much.

The only glory I have is the glorious light that comes from Christ in me! :D

I am continually amazed and ever so proud of all of our young people at Keynsham Elim, who attend the Ignite Youth Church there every Wednesday. It is a real honour to input into their lives and see God working through them as they step out and believe the things we've taught them. I want to carry on seeing them accelerate far past anything I have ever seen or will see in the things of God, because it's about Him and His house, not personal glory.

So back to me and this pregnancy. I continue to enjoy good health and wellbeing thanks to the promises I am believing as laid out in the book 'Supernatural Childbirth' by Jackie Mize (all promises taken from the Bible, of course). I am nobody special and God isn't blessing me or my body because of anything I've done or not done. It is simple, childlike faith in His Word and then choosing to believe that and stand on it rather than look to the circumstances or to what the world tells me to expect as a pregnant woman. I may not be doing this perfectly, in fact I'm sure I'm not, but it's bearing real fruit and real results are happening. The only area which I would like to change for the better really is joint stuff, as Husbands should really be as involved in the spiritual side as their Wives are. I think that praying and believing for things together is far more effective and powerful!

More later as I get fatter (I expect) and wiser (well...maybe). Stay awesome! :D

Pblog 8: Third trimester and why I don't hurt

2010-10-06T14:04:00.000-07:00

At 28 weeks this last Monday gone, it feels both like a long time coming and also in a strange, converse sense ... all quite quick. Following the stories of other pregnant ladies around me seems even quicker, to me they seem to be racing through their weeks faster than I am (which obviously isn't happening). It's an odd situation that doesn't make sense but is very real.

The best part of seeing the Midwife at 28 weeks was, for me, being told exactly where my baby was laying. She is now head down, with her arms and legs facing to the left side of my body, her back to my right side and her butt up in my navel area. There is plenty of movement going on in there still, which varies quite a lot although in the evenings I am assured of plenty of wriggling. I can see the stomach skin moving when she moves, on occasion. I only notice her there when I am sitting or laying still, the rest of the time to be honest ... I go about my business and work without really feeling her. I do have quite a small bump though, and an easy pregnancy. On to that ...

The stuff I am reading generally isn't happening to me. I haven't had any back ache or braxton hicks contractions that I've been able to feel. The only real thing I've had is softened tissue in the pelvic region which has meant moving around in bed can ache or be stiff. To be fair though, I haven't done anything to prevent this such as stretching and I made it hurt when I ran for a bus and pulled my groin. The side where I pulled the tissues - the left - is where it now aches on and off, so I think it's mostly self inflicted.

I should be swimming, stretching etc but I am not doing any of those things. One, because I am working still and two, the local pool sucks to boring high heaven and I can't be bothered to go down there and float around not knowing what to do in a square pool with no friends and nothing to do except lanes.

In short, even though mentally this has been the toughest time of my life for a long time (and not because of the pregnancy), physically the whole thing has been easy and a dream. Everything I chose to believe in and for at the start has happened. The book that I read, Supernatural Childbirth by Jackie Mize, has proven a real support and to be honest I haven't really been even following it along, re reading or doing stuff together as a pair with my Husband. So God has really blessed me and stood in the gap for me at every stage of the way so far. Therefore ... why should He stop now? I fully expect everything I have believed for, because it's part of what was won for me by Jesus on the cross. So why not have it? What have I got to lose? Nothing good, that's for sure.

In other matters, though I am still hardly touching it, chicken no longer appears to make me feel foul (joke). Only pesto still has the effect of making me want to hurl, my taste buds seem to have undergone chemical changes to this effect.

I'm not really craving anything - I just find that I like food a lot and tend to eat much of it with regular grazing. Trying to keep this healthy has been hard but I have done all right by my standards. Another thing worth mentioning is that having my blood taken this time was much easier than the last - it took about an eighth of the time and my arm hasn't go purple!

That's all for now, I have another midwife in three weeks time!

Fo those who don't have Facebook...

2010-10-06T13:59:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. Who doesn't? Well, a few of my very close friends don't and do not wish to. So I'll reactivate this place for the benefit of those who don't have Facebook. Please respect.

30 soon ...

2008-08-29T15:14:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's right. Soon I'll be 30. I haven't used this blog in a while because I'm now on Facebook (check it out and add me if you like, I am Kim Kaze on there).

There I'll explain what my 20s have held for me and what I see in the future for a child of the 80s, living through her 30s, in the .... 10s? What are we going to call 2010-2020, exactly? Weird.

So, watch not only this space but Facebook.

Every FRIDAY - Keynsham has a local paper again!

2008-02-15T00:00:00.001-08:00

Yes you heard that right ... Keynsham (and Saltford) now has a brand new local rag, just for themselves. Totally local to Keynsham & Saltford, it is 50p where sold in all local newsagents and the like.

Using high quality paper more so than the free, nasty one that comes around stuffed full of Bristol window & sofa ads, the local paper does have adverts but they are all or mostly from local firms, and there are actually articles in the paper. Not just adverts with the odd article in there.

And I wrote one of them this week, so get down to Churches and buy a copy! Support your local rag and your local writers!

The paper is featuring local classifieds, contests, arts and culture etc. It will also have births, deaths and marriages, along with local sports (Keynsham Town girls team were on the back page last week) and any big news that's going on (like with Cadburys).If you don't live in Keynsham and this means nothing to you, fair enough. If you're passing through though, buy a copy anyway!

NB: Years ago, Keynsham used to have it's own paper. It folded (pardon the pun) through lack of readership support. Let's all make sure that this time, we use it and don't lose it.

Sony Ericsson Wii themes!

2008-01-02T16:08:00.000-08:00

http://www.denofwii.com/2008/01/more_wii_themes_for_sony_erics.html

Get the little, white box of joy on your Sony phones for the New Year!

Get into the Den

2007-12-28T06:31:00.000-08:00

Check out my entry on Facebook for a full breakdown of what this year has held for me (search Facebook for Kim Kaze and add me if you haven't already, lovies!).

www.DenOfWii.com is still the place to go and leave your Wii-related comments. We're taking new writers on who are looking for a place to express quality views (however against the grain) on Wii gaming, so drop me a line if you'd like to become a contributor.

Currently, we're talking about 'is the Wii mature enough?', Link's Crossbow Training and the Wii selling out across Christmas - planned, do you think? Let us know.

Girl gamers - I still want to hear from you. Your views are not aired nearly enough, so let's get them out there. I can't be the only girl gamer who has a view on gaming that somewhat differs from my male friends.

www.DenOfWii.com <- Hit us up and tell us what's on your mind!
Love or hate the Wii? I wanna' know, bro.

I just wanna' say ...

2007-05-06T11:00:00.000-07:00

How often do we listen to something that makes us feel ...

Like we don't agree.
Like we need to sort something out.
Like something may need to change.
Like our worldview needs a new porthole carved in it?

If we're honest? Probably not too much.

I think everyone should be free to make their own desicion about what they believe about anything. But that doesn't mean I agree with therefore quashing what we consider to be old, boring or not true for us. Trouble is, we knee jerk a lot and I think we also throw the baby out with the proverbial bathwater.

I don't often talk much about my own personal life, especially on a blog like this (because hey - everybody can see it). I could lose friends, upset someone etc. I might even get hate mail.

But if my own life is a lie, then I guess hate can't make that worse. As it happens, I don't think my life is all a lie. I think it's as valid as anyone else's, and the same vice versa.

What I want to say right now is that simply, I've been healed in my life. By that I mean that stuff that was wrong with me, that couldn't be medically cured or taken away and wasn't being treated at all, was spontaneously removed in a tiny window of time in a specific situation where I stepped up and tried something - and it worked.

The details are not so interesting really - there are levels to how much I can prove it after all. But you got to ask yourself, why would I knowingly lie about it and build my life around it? That's a pretty serious accusation to level at anyone, especially a friend or someone you've worked with.

In short, I have been sick and unhappy most of my life due to something that finally in 2001 was diagnosed by a Harley St Doctor and also my home Doctor in Bristol. They agreed and diagnosed M.E/CFS or a similar condition (that's a Doctor's out for 'there's stuff about your condition we don't even understand').

I have also had serious issues with my monthly cycle and female internals. Both on seperate occasions were removed within the space of about a minute, have never troubled me since, and took place without anyone laying a single hand on me.

All I did was I called God for who the Bible says He is, who He claims to be. The most high God, the awesome creator of everything we're living in and enjoying today, our Father and our friend, our Lord and the only one who was able to forgive us for all the bad stuff we've done, because only He was perfect Himself. When I did this and stuck my fist into the air, dared to believe and trust in this God, He healed me head to toe.

I felt this warmth running through my body. It was like watery electrical energy and supernatural. It only happened when I tried God, nothing else worked. I tried personal will power, mind over matter, religion, chi, martial arts, etc. Only this God healed me. Twice. The second occasion, an older man was in this place I was at and he spoke out and said 'there's someone here, a woman - and right now God is healing your womb area'. That was when it happened for that second time, and again nobody touched me.

I just wanted to share that, because I don't actually think that many people know this about me. They don't know that aged early 20s, I found out that my entire life was going to be over, that not only would I probably never be able to have children but I wouldn't be able to work. I lost a high flying, central London radio station position and went home to Bristol facing a life on benefits, childless and unable to support myself.

In July 2001, a rebellious natured young person that some call Kim Kaze stuck her fist into the air. In a tent filled with 400-500 young people, she stood alone to one side and kicked back her chair. She started calling out to God and claiming that His promises in the Bible, if He was really true and really God, were for her like He promised in there.

And she was healed. Made well. Not only that, but she matured. She has grown. Now she has a Husband, a house and a car, more than one job, a church community who love and encourage her, friends from all walks of life who are there for her and she has a passionate love for Jesus, what He's done in her life and the massive, all out, full on LOVE that He's put inside of her previously viscious, hard heart.

Jesus has given me LIFE, and life in all its fullness. He's left absolutely nothing out - I love my life and not because I am arrogant, but because I can't stop being amazed by the lives that God touches through even this tiny, little speck of reality that is the one they call ...

Kim Kaze. A Destron saved by grace, and what an amazing grace! :)

Thanks for listening to my heart.

I pray that something of the God who hugs and holds me touches you and brings peace, joy, love and knowledge of certain forgiveness into your life. If you know you need to know that your past is forgiven, drop me a line if you want, sometime.

Still

2007-03-19T15:26:00.000-07:00

I still don't want to go
Yet I know
That I must go.

No matter that it snows
The wind blows
My will is shot.

Though the road forever climbs
Local chimes
Are far behind now.

Only fumes
My breath consumes
Death of a dream
I work now.

Catch me & the camera team live every Sunday!

2007-03-11T01:14:00.000-08:00

Catch me and the team today and every Sunday from 11am GMT and then again at 6:30pm GMT live broadcasting our work at [link].

If you miss it, click broadcast and go to the archives to find us there.Most weeks I am behind the camera but some I am up the front to the right hand side. I'll be the one looking like ME!

So, this Sunday hit up on the live broadcast at [link].

How can we improve Britain?

2007-03-02T18:46:00.000-08:00

There's so much we need to sort out, but the frightening thing I saw on Question Time last night was the audience's refusal to take statistical findings and real science at all seriously. They seemed to prefer their own feelings and liberal agenda over the success of raising happy, loved children. I noticed how a lady on the panel spoke about the need to support the building block of stable society - marriage (a publically declared union) - and her factual argument wasn't touched by anyone. Instead, phrases such as 'I think it's very dangerous to start supporting one way of life over another...' were used by pretty much all.

My answer to improving Britain would be to start listening to those working with families, kids etc. and find out what really does work, and then support that. Cut the red tape and the BS. Cut having what we want over what works best for society and us as individuals and see where 'do whatever you want, all is equal' has really got us.

New interview: Kane talks C and C 3, his PJs and tanks!

2007-02-23T13:58:00.000-08:00

This is a brand NEW interview. It only went up today, so if you haven't caught it yet and you're a C&C fan, you owe it to yourself to go take a snizzle...

Kane is the charismatic Brother of Nod faction leader in the C&C Tiberium-based games. Actor Joe Kucan plays him with flash and flair!

Read this one Kim Kaze's interview with him:

www.entertainmentwise.com/news?id=28341

Train chaos in Bristol area

2007-01-10T11:08:00.000-08:00

Today was bedlam. New time table and less rolling stock on the railways ... passengers screaming to get on (or off) trains, delays, overcrowding (I was one of 17 ppl in a tiny train vestibul today) and dodgy track faults causing queues. I have done more running, fast walking and hard stuff in the last three days than in weeks, after starting my new job on Monday.

The job was a real answer to prayer, actually. I landed it totally out of the blue, with a agency I am not even registered with (They found me on line somehow) and got it within two days, with no interview!

And what's more, that very week was the danger week where my finances would have toppled over.

I am still technically not registered officially with the agency ...

Treat this for what it is Great Western - a crisis. Real, everyday, hard working people (some with essential jobs) are waiting hours to get to work and their trip is full of standing around without seating and broken promises, platform changes etc. Bikes and disabled users simply cannot board most of the trains in the Bristol region right now, because they are so full.

Getting to work right now on time is actually impossible, unless I sleep under my desk.

A year in review

2006-12-31T11:17:00.000-08:00

Thank you 2006 ... hellooooo 2007.

This year has been thoroughly hard for me. I could go into all the little details, but a depressive rant on my blog isn't what I want.

What I want is to remember all the great moments and all of the easy-going times that I've had with friends and family alike.

I've taken great pictures, played some great games, met some interesting people and attempted some tough struggles. I've held a family together, wrote some moving poetry, gone on deeper with The LORD and developed a closer bond with some family and friends who I trust deeply.

2007 looms ahead as a large challenge, but one that I plan to take on head to head and win. I don't want to say more (I am cross posting this to all my online assets) for now, save to mention that this year God has been very close to my heart and He's really helped me through some deadly, unforseen challenges which came to pass.

Thanks to all those who've made this year great when it's been great; I hope you're all there to see the best of 2007 with me!

Saddam - Looks like he's dead

2006-12-29T18:59:00.000-08:00

I am posting this at 3am GMT ...

http://news.uk.msn.com/Article.aspx?cp-documentid=1942201

Saddam Hussein will be executed before 6am Saturday Baghdad time (3am GMT), a senior Iraqi government official has said.

The time was agreed upon during a meeting between US and Iraqi officials, said the official, who declined to be named because he was not authorised to speak to the media.

"The time has been agreed upon. It will be done by six o'clock in the morning," the official said.

"The agreement was reached during a meeting between Iraqi and American officials. Saddam will be handed over shortly before the execution."

Iraqi prime minister Nouri Maliki's office has signed Saddam's death sentence.
Saddam's lawyers issued a statement on Friday calling on "everybody to do everything to stop this unfair execution."

Maliki said opposing Saddam's execution was an insult to his victims. His office said he made the remarks in a meeting with families of people who died during Saddam's rule.

TF Mushing - a statement

2006-12-28T10:44:00.000-08:00

This is an edited version for general reading of an original post made to the Public B Board on TLY Mush today, by me as Kimakaze (my OC char there).

Thanks for posting what most have been thinking, Swivel.

I am a TLY loyalist. I was playing this very char, Kimakaze (my first ever MUSH char anywhere) before the place officially went IC, and have been playing hard right up until it became very quiet. I play in one or two other places and have no where else to replace it with, nor any wish to do so. I play on one other TF mush (TFV II Mush) and one non TF mush (ask me). TFV II is probably the most important place to me right now simply because it is where the Destrons dwell, and they are my passion.

Mushing in general seems to have taken a bit of a dive, mainly due I think to the increase in MMORPGs which are image based, and a lack of new blood interested in TEXT based gaming - this fact is disputed but I prefer not to count sex-play mushes and giant themes which allow everything and anything as 'proper mushing'. There's also the fact that Transfans in general are still of the older, retro variety and for us, life is getting pretty busy and manic these days. We're not at college or uni anymore and most of us have jobs, families etc now. New Transfans are NOT replacing the old in numbers or in interest in mushing, period.

My only thoughts on this are for Transfans still mushing to do 3 things:

1 - Try to keep playing if at all possible. Even if it's just one night a week, regular play is what keeps plots and chars alive. It is better to play for 3 hours a week regularly than a burst of 10 hours one week, then 3 months gap followed by another 10 hour bash.

2 - Advertise and plug the mushes, however pointless it may be. If your adverts don't work, ask yourself why. Maybe adjust the mushes a bit to accomodate non Transfans mushers?

3 - Don't be a TF mush purist, take chars on any surviving TF mushes and try to play them (see suggestion 1). Don't spread yourself too thinly and take loads on a single mush, even if it's your fave. if it comes down to it, TF mushers may have to agree to close down all but 2 or 3 TF mushes and just play on those from now on, because having a fragmented playerbase set between 5 - 7 stubborn directors isn't helping matters.

Also, directors I think need to be more flexible in terms of what they allow players to do on their mushes and face the facts that those left have desired things they'd like to rp. If your mush won't let them, they aren't going to rp on your mush, simple. Obviously if something is stupid, impossible or rated inappropriately for that mush then that's a different story, but I am talking here about being anally retentive over plot details and 'we don't do this on OUR mush, thank you'.

My thoughts.

Silly drinking game

2006-12-26T07:29:00.000-08:00

If Kim Kaze were a drink they would be:
	3 parts pastoral 2 parts athletic 3 parts attractiveness
Get Your RECIPE Here!

Nintendo warning over fairy lights

2006-12-21T10:17:00.000-08:00

Nintendo has warned owners of its new console to avoid bright lights shining near televisions while they play.

It follows reports that fairy lights were causing problems with the Wii's remote control sensor.
The technology giant said direct lights could cause interference in "exceptional conditions".

Writing on a users' blog, one owner said: "The last couple of days my Wii has been acting weird in not picking up the Wiimote on the side of the Christmas tree and I could never figure out what was wrong.

"Well tonight, I turned off the Christmas tree and it fixed my problem."

The Wii sold out within 24 hours of hitting UK stores earlier this month.

In a statement, Nintendo said the console wasn't affected by lights under normal conditions.
It added: "In exceptional conditions where the Wii sensor bar is sat near a direct light source there may be some minor interference - this does not mean that there is any fault with your Wii.
"For the best performance of your Wii, avoid bright light sources behind or near the TV, shining towards the Wii remote or reflecting off the TV screen."

The Spa

2006-12-16T02:13:00.000-08:00

Last night, the Ignite and youth from church (and some from outside) gave me a total spa treatment gift voucher for having a really hard year but working for them, apparently ;)

I am so totally shocked, stunned, happy and humbled to receive their acknowledgements.

It's made me so happy to just know that anybody noticed anything, though that isn't WHY I do anything. But undeniably, this year HAS been hard, both financially and personally at home.

Thanks guys. You're awesome!

We're expanding again ...

2006-12-13T06:56:00.000-08:00

How we love to spread the subjective commentaries round about the place. But that's what journalism is, a system of avereges; the hope that by hitting the majority of nails right on the head, the every day person will find reviews helpful and not unlike their own views of these products.

Ho hum. See? Anyone can talk intellectual-sounding BS when they want to. The truth is, news is news and it sells. People want to know, and if you have a passion to tell people what you think because you either think you can help them or just want to make money, that's what you'll do. Academia dies when we do something random like laugh at nothing or decide to have an extra beer even though we decided we'd only have that one tonight. Life is alive, and words will never be.

I felt like talking today; the news on Entertainmentwise is done as are the reviews for today.

Check out our latest Wii review, Zelda
(www.entertainmentwise.com/review?id=25765).

Today though, Viva Pinata is fresh on the block for Xbox 360! (www.entertainmentwise.com/review?id=25913)

Game Reviews section:www.entertainmentwise.com/review?ct=21
Gaming News section:www.entertainmentwise.com/news?ct=20

The Wii sold out in 60 seconds - almost!

2006-12-08T09:30:00.000-08:00

Consoles snapped up in record speed at midnight launch ...

Following months of eager anticipation, the official midnight launch of Wii – Nintendo’s new home console – saw fans and gaming newcomers turn out in force to claim their slice of the future of home entertainment!

Check out my article at: www.entertainmentwise.com/news?id=25760

WiiView - 2006 Titles On The Wii Exposed!

2006-11-30T04:51:00.000-08:00

The Team got into Nintendo House and are able to bring out the following:

All the early Wii titles laid bare... easy to digest breakdowns of many early Wii titles about to reach the UK.

www.entertainmentwise.com/news?id=25410

(A cross post from my Kim's Clicks gaming Blog)

Infuriating

2006-11-28T02:08:00.000-08:00

If it wasn't real
Or it didn't matter
Then I wouldn't care
The fact I do means
I can't ignore
The battles that we share

Alone is a deception
A veil to hide the light
You beat it back
It returns black
Impregnates your insight

Approval from the outside
Nothing matters more than this
Yet real friends just won't approve
Of knives you try to kiss

When doctors raise their scalpel
Sever red and remove lumps
They won't pay heed to your pet growth
Or leave your favourite clumps

A real surgeon operates
With aim to save your life
He won't back down or shrink away
When you cry 'Stop - it's strife!'

You can't save men from drowning
Without a diving mask
If you keep going down there
You'll stay beneath the glass

The heavens that you dwell in
Haven't solved a single thing
Get real and stop pretending
You're not the first to brass his ring

There's no shame in admitting
That it's hard and there's still pain
There are programes to help people
And big evil hopes they wane

Without rooting in The Body
There's no healing; no acceptance
Time won't help; it's getting worse
Drop pride and long, cold glances

Don't take so long to speak the truth
What's true will roll from within
The traps prevent you from the 'norm'
You seek with such chargrin

In short the games have got to stop
Let's start and not feel low
Let's not mope and be so proud
As though we've special woe

The real around you is the start
The net is not the place
You can't find acceptance anywhere
That every morn you don't face

If we really want Him - really want Him
We'll come, our sins n' all
We'll drop excuses, go to church
We'll actually try His stall

We'll stay away as though it bit
From every source of sin
It may mean losing ones we've liked
But choices choose who'll win

You can't have both the old life
All the pain and wishing wells
With glory, light and self acceptance
Ringing songs of praising bells

Faith tells stories yet to come
It speaks of what ain't here
To live in vict'ry every day
We have to shout down fear

We have to speak to sickness
Fear and doubt and ev'ry foe
We have to tell them who is Lord
And order them to go

"But I'm the only one who loves you!"
Cries the whining whisp
"No one accepts who you are
But us, the ones you kiss!"

The end of Fight Club has a gun
A man shoves down inside
He blows away the man inside
The parasite, the lie

The man who loved him now is gone
But finally he's free!
The love was fake; the lust was real
No darkness can escape

The real you is hid in God
The things you seek are His
There's nothing special with your pain
They're all the same - not His

My answer is your answer
The deception's that you can't
The lie is that you're worse somehow
Your cubicle advanced

The trick's to make you feel alone
"No body walked this street.
This blood's not thick enough for me
I choose and then get beat"

We all return to sins we love
Again, again and again
The lie is that you've gone too far
Or that you can't refrain

The lie is that you're better off
Outside the body; the command
It's simple; "get in" says the Lord
"My answer won't expand"

"My word won't change to fit a street
My answer won't evolve
The lie is that you're in some special
Cell my key won't solve"

If you want just what you say
Acceptance, truth and love
Then do it His way not your own
Accept the cost, then shove

Shove everything that lables you
The way you thought you were
Into the bin, whatever sin
Choose simple life, confer

Confer with scripture, but get taught
A man alone's soon tricked
Without a body, without church
The lies return more pricked

Stop feeling guilt for the past
Once He forgives, it's gone
The images may come to mind
But with His word, be strong

Believe what He has said about you
But don't be fooled by sin
The LORD's not mocked nor can he wink
You're either out or in

If you want Him, do it His way
Don't argue or you'll sit
You'll never move while you resent
His ways or friends like grit

I wrote this hoping it might help
Defy the lie that says
I hate you or somehow don't care
I hope that this conveys

I want you stood beside me
I want my friend content
I cannot promise life in joy
But I know that I was sent

I'll end this now and hope it helps
I hope you believe me
I hope you see the love He has
A God sure enough to make me :)

Veil row woman sacked

2006-11-24T07:04:00.000-08:00

http://news.uk.msn.com/Article.aspx?cp-documentid=1322608

I think this is an all round fair out come. We don't know why she was sacked though, so no comment can really be made on that aspect of it. The payment of a grand seems very generous as I've had my feelings hurt plenty at work before and never received money from any source for this.

BA worker loses appeal over right to wear crucifix

2006-11-20T09:08:00.000-08:00

http://news.uk.msn.com/Article.aspx?cp-documentid=1299565

My comments: There’s three things worth mentioning here, I think.

One, that really the woman could just wear the thing inside her blouse and be happy about it without causing a fuss.

Two, that in all the years she has worked there, nobody complained once or noticed, thus proving the ruling – however logically reasonable on paper – to be red tape and pointless; she’s not been picked up once in all this time by a single customer, so really the rule is surplus to requirement.

Thirdly, there cannot be any fair or reasonable comparison made between the wearing (on show) of a tiny golden cross on a thin golden chain around ones neck, and the wearing of a niqab. The turban is a slightly different issue so I am intentionally leaving it out for now. Basically, the niqab section of the Islamic burqua is more than just a symbol of religion; in our culture it is a mask, a symbol of female opression and a definite barrier. It is sexist to refuse to remove it around male workers.

Obviously for lip readers it is a complete stopper but also for everyone; to be honest I prefer to see the facial expressions of the person I am talking to if they are serving me in their line of work. In someone else’s house, what they do is their business but when I am out and about or at work, I do expect general cultural norms to a certain extent – I don’t expect to be faced with a mask. This is the point where some folk get terribly upset and I would respectfully point out that the burqua (long, body covering outfit), headscarf (head covering) and face mask are all NOT requirements in the Koran or Hadiths. They are exactly the same as a Christian wearing a cross or a pagan wearing a pentagram/up side down cross – it’s a personal, outward working of your belief. For those who are interested, the Koran details for ladies to dress with modesty. Googling for a ref will reveal one if anyone cares enough to do it – I don’t have a link in my papers that I can easily spot.

If I wore a ski mask into a bank, petrol station or air port, I think my cultural requirements would be swiftly over ridden, and so they should be; it’s gone too far. However, if I wore a picture of a naked person doing some abhorrent act or an equally personal thing on a chain around my neck but no one could really see it …

It’s a multi sided issue but hopefully common sense will prevail. I actually do not care if burquas are worn, however sexist I feel they are (Islamic men apparently do not need to wear any special garment to be pure), but I do think the headscarf and face mask sections of the outfit need to be well and truly done away with in free countries. Women need to be shown by their families and Imans that their faith doesn’t tell them to wear this stuff – only some Islamic males do. It is these people who need to be spoken with and frankly, no body in the UK should be allowed for any reason to go into a shop or store with their face totally covered except for their eyes. I am perfectly happy for this law to be enforced upon me, before anybody complains that I wouldn’t like that ruling on myself. It’s safer for everyone, a mark of respect for those you are meeting and greeting and it enables everyone to see your face and communicate fully with you. Any medical exceptions could carry a permit, just as guide dogs are permitted in stores but no other dogs are.

It.Is.Finished

2006-11-14T06:14:00.000-08:00

If you have to say the words,
Then you need them to know.

A preacher, ordinary as any man, told me.
Forgive - only for real. Do not pretend.
Drop the hate. Lose the anger.

Forgive them all. Be free. Place them in His hands.

Could I do it? These three did not deserve forgiveness. But that was the point. If they deserved to be forgiven - an innocent error perhaps, there would be little to forgive; little difficulty in doing so.

Paper was handed around. White paper.
I put mine in my pocket. I'll do it later.

Later I discover it, still there in my pocket. I look at the empty space.

Finding a pencil, I write the three names quickly.
I tear through the sheet, ripping it into pieces, before throwing it down into the bin.

Though we weren't suggested to do this, I quietly mutter "I forgive you. You're out of my life. I do not hate you any longer. It is finished."

I walk away from the room, feeling strangely cleaner for doing so.

It is done. Now whenever I get tempted to think about those people, or to hate them for what they did to me, I remember my desicion, the piece of paper I tore. The words I spoke.

Never again.

Boys In Blue 1 - Boys at the Gym 0

2006-10-20T10:21:00.001-07:00

It's finally happened. He cracked; he couldn't help himself.

The Trowbridge guy decided to lay threats at our door - again. The first time we logged a call and full description of the events with the Police and asked them not to press the matter; we'd hoped to resolve it with time and people's common sense prevailing.

This time, we did the same thing only requested a house visit which they gave us. My Husband and I discussed the issue, gave witness statements and by the time the Police left, I almost - almost - felt sorry for the perps involved.

They are the ones who are going to get a visit from the boys in blue issuing them with an official warning to stay away from our house and from both of us. According to the Police, any print outs or recordings of so-called things from the net or rumours won't make a darned bit of difference; the Police explained that the CPS take a very dim view of so-called 'Internet harrasment' claims since to get harrased online, you have to go online willfully. Legally this is therefore NOT considered to be harrasment, but willfull engagement with material(s). So, no matter what material(s) they have constructed falsely or find on the net down there in sunny Trowbridge, it wouldn't actually matter anyway, nor would it stand up in any court.

Today, I was in a position to say 'Let's do it'. By saying that, this person would have then been arrested and interviewed, and it would have all gone to court. I decided to say 'Let's not do it, let's issue an official warning instead'. If he or anyone else he knows then breaks this warning, it all goes directly to court as a criminal offence.

There is also a chance if he reacts badly to the warning that's about to be given, that he may lose his licence to bounce. Hopefully therefore he'll think twice before losing his rag again and making threats.

Phone calls are recorded. Visits to the house are monitored with video equipment. Internet comments are also logged for any additional interest.

Numbers can and will be traced by our phone companies and the Police have said they can gain access to ANYONE and EVERYONE who has called us on any of our phones in the last 3 or 4 years if they want to.

The fact is, that lot seem to blame us for everything that is said bad about them, and everything they do not like online. They have a run around boy/man who goes on the phone to them and spews stuff he doesn't understand, making out that things online are ten times worse than they actually are.

The Police also confirmed that a YouTube video they believe was created by one of us (with no evidence at all might I add!) that embarrased one of them would NOT be considered a crime or anything short of a laughing stock by the CPS.

It's funny and quite sad that one of them on the phone seemed to think that by having seen this so-called video (we have also seen it, it's very funny!) and having a record of an unrelated email sent to someone and also a text message sent to someone, neither of which are anything to do with any of this (and the original, un doctored versions CAN be produced, by the way...), that somehow they could show this to the Police and that would make it 'all right' that they'd produced multiple threats, claim to have gone out of their way to get hold of our home address (if that's not proof of Mens Rea then I don't know what is...) and claim they will come around when we are not expecting it and 'get us'.

The Police have told us that it definately will NOT make it all right, that they have broken the law and that we have not, no matter what lies they make up or claims they make. The Police don't care about their views of who does what online, they only care about legal things like, oh say; threatening and abusive phone calls.

These two individuals have told us to back off. We have been backed off since we cut all ties with UCW. Ken has never returned to their forum and I only recently returned to tell Ian Dowland and Hero's Drone to stop stirring crap on there about Ken and Gareth.

Now it's OUR turn. He may say that payback is a b*tch, but vengence is The LORD'S.

We are telling YOU: Back off. The next piece of unwelcome contact, thinnly vieled threat or remark will result in you being taken to court and all the records of your conduct being dragged up before everyone. All you have are lies, rantings and your opinion of who does what on the internet, which you don't even understand (and both of us work in and with, so we do understand).

Nothing you have is true or can stand up in any court - we now have this from the Police's own mouths. So I suggest you take your own advice - stay very, very quiet, leave us alone and if you truely just want to be left alone, you won't find this hard to do, will you? After all, if we don't want contact with you and you don't want it with us, then we're both on to a winner here.

By the way - I am saying all this as though they are reading this for one simple reason; recently someone, most likely Dowland, has been reading the internet and then reporting on things to this person. Either that or the person themselves has been reading stuff and getting themselves into a tiss-was over nothing whatsoever.

Boys in blue 1 - Boy at the gym (community centre rather) 0.
I don't blame any of the others down there, just the one character.

Brains have prevailed once again over brawn, and they always will do.

Digg crowd lynch some guy over my article

2006-10-17T09:55:00.000-07:00

Ok. I will try to explain this in chronological order. Please bear with me, this is funny but also rather eye-opening:

A few days ago I wrote an article which I posted to this address, about the Wii console: www.entertainmentwise.com/news?id=23483 I also posted this article onto my gaming miniblog (Kim's Clicks).

The article above was then posted to the Digg community by a total stranger to me, as seen here: http://digg.com/gaming_news/I_played_with_my_Wii_for_2_hours_I_m_not_tired

Once it was up there, a guy who is part of the Digg community posted a comment on the article which was particuarly annoying to other Digg users. I have not seen the original Tom Fraser comment and I can only assume it's been deleted now.

Digg users flooded the article on Digg with extra diggs, both for the article and for each other's comments. A big row ensued surrounding the actions of Tom Fraser. Apparently someone's handed out private details of the man and people have been calling his house, making 'I blocked Tom Fraser' T shirts and buttons for their websites etc. Someone even made a Digg page about what happened:

www.digg.com/offbeat_news/Join_the_club_We_have_T_Shirts

Someone also made a slightly rude song and video: http://Tomfraser.justgotowned.com

I don't know who this Tom Fraser is, or if any of this actually is happening to him. All I know is that it's crazy all this came from my lovely little Wii article! Still, it's nice to think you might have started a little Internet 'event' without even realising it!

"Ha ha, this is hilarious. The lines between reality and the Internet have blurred. Mob mentality has taken hold, the digg legions are on the march, and all over a guy pressing enter too many times, I love it!" --- DaneTrain, Digg.com

Race minister: sack veil woman

2006-10-15T09:24:00.000-07:00

http://news.uk.msn.com/Article.aspx?cp-documentid=1074135

The Government's race minister has said a Muslim teaching assistant who refuses to remove her veil at work should be sacked.

Phil Woolas said Aishah Azmi's stand meant she could not "do her job", and insisted barring men from working with her would amount to "sexual discrimination".

The minister accused her of "denying the right of children to a full education".
Meanwhile, Shadow Home Secretary David Davis said Muslim leaders were risking "voluntary apartheid" in Britain.

In an article for a Sunday newspaper, Mr Davis warned of "closed societies" being created in the UK, and said religious divides threatened to "corrode" fundamental values such as freedom of speech.

Earlier in the week, the Leader of the Commons, Jack Straw, said he asked female Muslim constituents to lift their veils during private discussions.
Mr Davis wrote: "What Jack touched on was the fundamental issue of whether, in Britain, we are developing a divided society.

"Whether we are creating a series of closed societies within our open society. Whether we are inadvertently encouraging a kind of voluntary apartheid."
Mr Davis said there was a "growing feeling that the Muslim community is excessively sensitive to criticism, unwilling to engage in substantive debate".

Wii Launch Line Up Review, on YOUR site?!

2006-10-11T02:54:00.000-07:00

I work freelance as well as editing a large and vibrant entertainment portal.

Today I am going to Nintendo to review the Wii UK launch line up and take a closer look at the machine itself, as well. I am more experienced with the former, but hope to take a techi with me to cover that 'side' of things.

I am offering the article(s)/review(s) from today to anyone who is interested. The only downside is I'd like you to pay me for it, but only a select no of sources are getting Wii review units prior to Wii launch, etc. So I think it's worth the moolah.

If you agree and want your site or publication to have the latest Wii low down, slip me an email: kim at melted dotcom.

Don't call me for cooking tips or dates!!! You have been warned!

Game On!

2006-10-10T06:27:00.000-07:00

Fact: The games industry is bigger than Hollywood. 2004 saw the total sales of video games far exceeding sales of cinema tickets and DVD sales combined. Books about sitcoms, rock stars and soaps decorate shelves aplenty. Surely it’s the perfect time then, for a book about the history of great gaming?

http://www.entertainmentwise.com/review?id=23229

Everyone's p*ssing God off

2006-09-24T11:34:00.000-07:00

Ever feel....like you're being torn apart by unseen forces of filth and purity and everything in the middle and you just want to run away from it all?

Like everything's unwinding, everyone's unravelling and nobody will listen?a

Feeling absolutely sick, every corner there's people making it worse. Feeling covered in it.

Lone Wolf

2006-09-24T05:29:00.000-07:00

Every night atop the rock
He sits and waits and watches.

The valley below is lush and green
Full of life, both seen and unseen.

His eye is keen and is strikes the land
A sign of life, a fellow beast.

A chance to share himself at last
A hope for community.

The nights slip by and his coat is wet
The rains they come and go.

Unshared storms and sunny days
An unseen ark has stolen his mob.

Alone and dark he sits
King of silence, Master of the blowing wind.

The keen eye grows slowly pained and sad
Even the mighty suspect they have lost.

But every night he still keeps his post
Ignoring wind and rain and fire.

How long will he stand?
How many nights without a sign?

No pack, no community.

Dance mat = your own music

2006-09-14T03:03:00.000-07:00

Any more for any more?

www.entertainmentwise.com/review?id=21951

The first ever console dance mat game where you can actually dance to YOUR OWN music.

Hurrah!

Fallen in the rain sunk city

2006-09-13T15:04:00.000-07:00

High and wide, the invisible wall
That seperates us,
Reaching up and out,
Stretching about,
No matter the hammer
It stands tall and stout.

Nothing I say can dent it,
Everything I do does nothing.
Pain wells, frustration within me
Rings like bells.

What can I do? If I push you,
You'll run.
I am too forceful, I know.
Yet does my own suffering mean nothing?
Should I cheat to fill what I seek?
How can I, when such a thing
Is as alien to me as happiness seems to be to you?

I want so badly, contact. Friendship.
I want to see you glad to be near me.
I need to feel wanted, desired.

Right now there is an empire of sheer dirt,
That I stand within, getting hurt.
Again and again,
I insist that steel catches my arm,
Blood flows and I grimace,
Blaming others, but myself.

Why can't I just say 'I need you, and I can't actually take it any more'?
Why is that so hard?

Why do I assume they'll always run?
Perhaps I am used to alone.

No more do the words ring,
No more does the smile light me day.
No more can I walk to work smiling,
Knowing it worked. Knowing.

I take pride in what is mine.

Now I feel like a super hero sitting,
Crouched in a broken city
Dark skies rolling around
And helmet casting falling rain to the ground.
He sighs as the rain beats a rythym,
The rythym of sadness.

He failed. He didn't save anyone.
He was too late, too slow to react.
He didn't stop the dark,
He couldn't save her.

Now he is alone, left in the ruins to consider
The running fields of grass that might have been
His, theirs, to rule and to live in.

What is the point of being Master,
When you are Master of nothing?

A bit of an email debate

2006-09-06T02:08:00.000-07:00

I put Will's response at the top, followed by Dave since he was responding to Will, rather than me writing two emails and being spammy :) I decided not to re write my former response again to Dana's response, since essentially she was passing off a one-line opinion and really, I don't want to argue about a one-line viwepoint with anyone right now :) We don't agree, but that's fine because neither of us is holding a flaming ladder!

> I think the issue is simply, you don't *have* to have the traditional
> nuclear male unit / female unit / child unit(s) family to raise a happy,
> stable kid.

You don't *have* to do a lot of things but there are testable, provable methods of doing things which work better MOST of the time. To ignore these things is just down to what WE want at the end of the day and is not in the best interests of the child, is it? We have drifted from the original point which was should lesbian/gay/single people get FREE IVF treatment on the NHS?

I say no because of all the reasons stated; the unfairness because of the long wait medially-struggling couples have to go through, the liklihood that any of the above could use a free avenue, the self funding issue for 'social convictions' and of course the fact that male/female couplings are still to the very best of my understanding, the best way to raise children, and should therefore have the backing of the NHS for purely factual, scientific reasons if nothing else.

This was not intended to be about 'can gay/lesbian/singles' be good parents or even parents on equal terms with male/female married or co-habitors? But interestingly, that is what it's immediately turned into, which is actually an educated things since it is an underlying issue within the original issue. But on that, the moral and faith-based arguments ARE going to come out to join the secular arguments.

> The things you're fretting about seem mostly to be public opinion . . .
> yeah that's gonna matter to some kids, but others (I think George is a
> fair example) wouldn't give a hoot. After all, she's a girl and she's
> given herself a boy's name - she doesn't care, why should anybody else?

Do you have ANY IDEA the amount of bullying that I went through because of the way I looked, who I hung out with, my name, the fact I liked football and not netball (the most - I loved most sports), my choices? Saying idiots don't matter is a nice mantra from a position where you no longer have to go into school and BE that kid who everyone bullies, but when you are there, don't say it doesn't matter because it does. We do need to keep this in perspective and respect the child's right to a healthy life where possible. Parents should be thinking first of the child and not of their own selfish urges, anyway. That's my opinion but yes, it would be nice if in secondary issues such as name-giving and what we dress like, there could be more charity. But the other side of the same coin is let's not become rosey spectacled in doing so and pretend problems that really do exist aren't there.

George's answer to 'George is a boy's name!' was always 'No it's not. George is MY name'.

> The important thing is that the child is loved, cared for and educated.> As long as that happens it'll grow up fine, whoever its family is.

Nope. You can give all those things and still raise a hellraiser, there's more to it than just that - I was raised lovingly on paper but had several shrinks and was told I was a pyromaniac, psychotic, a tad megalomanic and something else I forget now. What happens to you within your peer group also massively effects how you are raised. There is a good book about this I have somewhere downstairs.

Also, the child would appear to be more likely to be stablly raised in a married household with a female and a male present, and as I said, this is actually about giving NHS money, tax payers money, to people who want to have IVF but don't want to have sex as a first option. I don't care if they feel they can't or they just won't, the fact is why should I fund their choice? They can fund it and if I meet that child or they walk into my office, I'll treat them equally as a human being and offer them love and choices. But many won't, because they don't have my moral convictions concerning loving one another. We need to see the entire pictue I think and all of the issues, not just get political.

I believe NHS funding should be there to offer life threatening conditions free treament for all, so that poverty doesn't mean as it does in Romania, you die. Cancer, HIV, all of that lot and many other lesser conditions too. I do not believe we should be giving this vital funding away to people who feel they have the right to have a baby but they don't want to have sex to get one. I am sorry but that's how I feel. That money is for /sicknesses/, not choice-based things like baby shopping.

>the people on the receiving end care what the idiots of the world think - I sure did at school as a kid - hindsight is easy, and completly irrelevent. Children will care - what you are putting forward is what you think and reckon and what would matter to you - what I was attempting to put forward is whats going to matter to a kid in a situation where logic wont be worth crap all. It WILL bother children who are growing and tahts that.

I do agree with Dave here, which is rare since we often are on opposite sides of most debates :)

>I also do not doubt a lesbian couples ability to love a child - I do however doubt their ability to cover all bases in the raising of a child, ESPECIALLY a son.

Agreed, though here we're slipping into another topic, which would be 'Can gay/lesbian/single households raise children equally well as male/female households?'

>I purposfully used the word prefable in the last email - so im saying i dont think lesbian/single/gay people are in capable. Its important you realise I dont think they are incapable. But im not going to go against all sense and say that its a better way to raise a child, it quite BLATANTLY isnt for the reasons I have illustrated.

What upsets me is that we are in fact forcing our morality therefore on to the NHS and onto these children, by stating that we are free to have children no matter who or what we are and that is our position. I am saying fine - if you feel that strongly about raising a child, adopt for goodness' sake OR have one naturally. That's what the rest of us tend to do. Why should any group get SPECIAL rights?

I will always support //any// family unit if they need support ... once they exist. Dana for example (and I hope she won't mind it being said here) is currently a single Mum and she needs support and all that kind of stuff, because it's right to help those who need help. Charity should be something we ALL strive to support and take part in, we should all be charitable. But helping actively to CREATE these situations - say giving someone in Dana's situation free IVF to have another child now, I believe would actually be immoral and forcing a certain brand of liberal morality onto the NHS and onto the soon to be born child.

On the other hand, if Dana finds herself a nice man and decides to have a family again in the future, there's nothing wrong with that AT ALL, if both parents decide to start a family. The same goes for a single man who has a child right now. I think that needs to be said to clarify exactly what's being discussed here - it's not some sort of 'leave the wierdos to die!' policy, it's about how we spend our NHS funding and who we give it to and why.

“I cannot teach anyone anything, I can only make them think.”--- Socrates

Steve pulled barb out of chest before death

2006-09-05T05:04:00.000-07:00

http://news.uk.msn.com/Article.aspx?cp-documentid=870270

"Croc Hunter" pulled barb out of chest before death

By Michael Perry

SYDNEY (Reuters) - Fatally injured by a stingray, Australian "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin pulled its serrated barb out of his chest before losing consciousness and dying, the world-famous naturalist's manager said on Tuesday.

Video footage of the attack shows Irwin swimming above the stingray on the Great Barrier Reef on Monday when it lashed out and speared him in the heart with its barbed tail, manager John Stainton told reporters.

"It shows that Steve came over the top of the ray and the tail came up, and spiked him here (in the chest)," Stainton said after watching the footage.

"He pulled it out and the next minute he's gone. The cameraman had to shut down," he said.
"It's a very hard thing to watch because you're actually witnessing somebody die ... it's terrible."

Irwin, 44, the quirky naturalist who won worldwide acclaim as TV's khaki-clad "Crocodile Hunter", was filming a new documentary off Australia's northeastern coast when he was attacked.

Marine experts say stingrays can deliver horrific, agonising injuries from the toxin-laden barbs, which can measure up to 20 cm (8 in) in length and cause injuries like a knife or bayonet.

"The strongly serrated barb is capable of tearing and rendering flesh," said Dr Bryan Fry, deputy director of the Australian Venom Research Unit.

"It's not the going in that causes the damage, it's the coming out where those deep serrations kind of pull on the flesh, and you end up with a very jagged tear which is quite a pronounced injury," Fry said.

News of Irwin's death shocked Australians and Irwin's millions of fans around the world. Prime Minister John Howard interrupted parliament on Tuesday to pay tribute.

"He was a genuine, one-off, remarkable Australian individual and I am distressed at his death," Howard told parliament.

"We mourn his loss, we're devastated by the tragic circumstances in which he has been taken from us and we send our love and prayers to his grieving family," he said.

"CRIKEY"

Environmental documentary maker Ben Cropp said video of the attack showed Irwin swimming alongside a bull stingray, probably weighing around 100 kg (220 lb). His cameraman was filming in front of the ray, which became frightened and lashed out.

Stingrays are usually placid and only attack in self-defence.

Stainton said the cameraman only became aware of the attack when he noticed Irwin bleeding.
Millions had seen Irwin flirt with death many times as he stalked and played with crocodiles, sharks, snakes and spiders. Stainton said he was struggling to come to terms with the fact that a stingray had killed his friend.

"There's been a million occasions where both of us held our breath and thought we were lucky to get out of that one," Stainton said. "But he just seemed to have a charmed life."

Police said they had examined the footage and would prepare a report for the coroner appointed to determine the cause of death.

Film star Russell Crowe called Irwin the "ultimate wildlife warrior", adding: "He was the Australian we all aspire to be. He touched my heart. I believed in him. I'll miss him".

Known for his catchphrase "Crikey" during close encounters with animals, Irwin made almost 50 documentaries which appeared on the cable TV channel Animal Planet.

U.S.-based television company Discovery Communications, which produces Animal Planet, said it would set up a conservation fund in honour of Irwin, dubbed in one tribute a "modern-day Noah", and planned a marathon showing of his programmes.

Discovery said the footage of Irwin's fatal dive might never be broadcast.

Australian newspapers paid tribute to Irwin on Tuesday, while fans including American tourists laid wreaths outside his Australia Zoo in tropical Queensland state.

"We thought he was Superman, that he was indestructible," said an editorial in Sydney's The Daily Telegraph.

"We were wrong"

(Additional reporting by Paul Tait in SYDNEY)

The truth about Victory

2006-09-04T09:35:00.001-07:00

It's taken me a while to settle back into the idea that he loves me. Not a feeling but a choice; a decision.

I know that He loved me all along, the whole time, but he?

He let me down. Shattered my illusions. My castle was breached for a time.

But there was one thing the enemy didn't see coming, one thing that no whore could predict or make a plan to combat ...

Splatter blood love. Fierce love. Fighter's love. Cross love. Scream love. Anvil-to-the-head love. Tears love. Unconditional love. Weeping love. All-healing, all forgiving love.

Agape love with a red streak that drips slowly.

On the rocks, with a twist.

The castle spewed out the ravaging forces like so much cheap garbage and left them lying in a pool of their own blood - yes you, it, they FELL. The last thing this 'enemy' will see is the sole of our boot and six eyeballs filled with disgust and no forgiveness, because we are called to forgive everything but one thing - SIN itself.

I love people - but I hate sin. I see what it does in lives and I hate it. If it was manifest in flesh form, I would do everything within my power to kill it.

Only someone beat me to it, and One who could go all the way. One who would not fall for anger and fight sin with sin ...

Thank God for Jesus. Thank You LORD that You did not fall, but You attained the victory over sin.

Thank You Jesus, for being You.

I love You.

---*PS: Sorry if this has offended or hurt anyone, but sometimes when I write passionately, I cry and I just say exactly what I feel, believe or see.

I discriminate against things which are proven bad ideas

2006-08-30T02:36:00.000-07:00

http://news.uk.msn.com/Article.aspx?cp-documentid=852094

Morally questionable news article, there’s lots in here and a lot of medical background to understand …

The part that I noticed and caused me great concern was the comment near the bottom about the rights of a child:

‘He [Liberal Democrat Politician] said clinics should not be able to "hide behind" rules that the welfare of a child was best served by having a father in their lives."’

This is to do with lesbian couples and single women having the same, free NHS access as men and women couples seeking IVF treatment. Everyone has access to things, of course they do - this is ONLY concerning free NHS access. Remember that before you press reply and bash me for restricting anyone from anything.

In the past, the proven studies that a child has a better chance of a healthy and normal life with a Father figure has prevented access to non couples from simply collecting children like shopping, along with lesbian couples where a choice has been made to have no male in the relationship, thus disallowing the natural chance for a child to be introduced to the family unit that way. This is a highly emotive issue that tends to reveal what people truly think about the rights of individuals and what they base their worldview on. Mine is based on testable, repeatable science and family studies as well as the Word of God. The two match perfectly so I’ve never needed to think too long on this issue, but I can see how others would have conflicting loyalties to different emotions such as ‘This is unfair to single women and lesbians’.

Remember though; this is treatment to implant babies into women who are not successful using other methods, and it's only arguing about having it done FREE on the NHS - spending tax money on it. Originally it was for women in a couple who couldn’t have children naturally. Now it seems to have become everyone’s ‘right’ to have a child despite the fact if they are single, they are willfully not using the natural route to a family (having a male partner and starting a family) and lesbians are wilfully doing likewise by deleting the male option; they have access to males just as everyone else does, they just don't want to. In my view, if a lesbian couple want a child that badly, they should consider their sexuality and the implications thereof more deeply or perhaps privately do a deal with a willing male and have him father a child for one of the women (though personally this option would be immoral for me – but not some others).

The text above clearly states that the Liberal Democrats don’t want the NHS to 'hide behind' (i.e. recognise) the rules that are there because it’s been shown that the child’s best interests are served by having a Father in their lives. This is quite disturbing, because what this actually says is ‘We don’t want the science and the evidence to get in the way of us having what we want, when we want it – in the form of baby shopping’.

That deeply disturbs me, because they are willing to place a child’s life – and the welfare of that child SECOND to the desires of adults who consensually, one way or the other, have chosen NOT to have a family unit that includes a male. No one is discussing the rights of pairs where a male is present – merely pairs of females and single females or males.

It is my view that since nature has stated that a male and female are needed to procreate and studies show clearly that a male and female are the best possible environment to raise a child, to wilfully go against this with tax payer's money is pure selfishness and ‘I want so I’ll get’.

But I know the emotive response before I hear it – ‘Discrimination!’ Yes. I discriminate all the time. I choose not to do things which are proven to be unfair or stupid or not work best. I choose to for example, not buy a 3 grand hot tub because it’s not in my best financial interests, even though it IS what my desire is, to have it. I see the greater picture so I don’t go and blow 3 grand on the credit card and buy what I want.

I discriminate against war and against poverty. I discriminate against killing and violence. I discriminate against selfishness in adults using children like accessories to a fashion list of their own personal wants.

---

(Matthew 10:22-23 NKJV)
"And you will be hated by all for My name's sake.”

John

“18 If the people of this world hate you, just remember that they hated me first. 19 If you belonged to the world, its people would love you. But you don't belong to the world. I have chosen you to leave the world behind, and that is why its people hate you.
20 Remember how I told you that servants are not greater than their master. So if people mistreat me, they will mistreat you. If they do what I say, they will do what you say.
21 People will do to you exactly what they did to me. They will do it because you belong to me, and they don't know the one who sent me.
22 If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin. But now they have no excuse for their sin.
23 Everyone who hates me also hates my Father.
24 I have done things that no one else has ever done. If they had not seen me do these things, they would not be guilty. But they did see me do these things, and they still hate me and my Father too.
25 That is why the Scriptures are true when they say, "People hated me for no reason."

Prophetic Dream

2006-08-27T01:51:00.000-07:00

I can't remember all the details ... there was a part where I was looking around a nice but very low house with some others, and also the Abus and other coaches were full of people of different sort of ages and groups (I noticed many of the faces were from Elim Keynsyham) coming to this car park where Eric Casto ended up preaching to a mass of people.

He was talking about his 'brother' Moses who was there and thanking others for caring for him.

I turned around knowing that Moses was near me. Moses was right near me and just told me to close my eyes and pray with him right now, so I did. Moses said this:

"There's lightning in you ... there's a lot of lightning in you."

At this point I reacted to being told this by opening my eyes and staring in shock. The words rung so true to me even though I didn't fully understand them.
Eventually things got back to being serious and i was told to close my eyes. I did so.

"You've never allowed the whip to touch you. You resist true dicipline. You are afraid of it."

I realised that in all my power stories, I always have mercy extended nine times out of ten. Justice is rare. Heavy judgement is rarer.

At that point in positioned myself so I could easily be struck by a whip and felt real fear. In the dream, there was an image of a black whip and it was very real, but I understood that the whip actually stood for something far more significant and far MORE real than any mere, physical whip.

I was not hit with the whip in the dream nor was I punished. The point seemed to be to get me to allign myself and surrender to this 'whip', this Fatherhood of God. I was made to realise in the dream that I always saw Fathers as these violent, fearful men who lashed out at me and who caused ME in turn to become full of fight, defence and close the door to being submissive in any way - even in a Godly way when it's required of anyone ... even yes, 'Masters'.

Earlier in the dream, some reasonably tough-ish females were giving me cr*p for a while and I was thinking through in the dream 'should I stay the good Christian lady or should I turn back to old me and let them have it'. There was a lot more going on and back and forth but in the end I slowly, carefully and cleverly (though with some fear that I couldn't remember how to do this stuff...) defeated her and her cronies. I spoke to them as I dealt with them and I was very much 'Masterful'. Perhaps God was showing me what's inside my heart somewhere, I do not know for sure.

I was ashamed of myself and my walls against The LORD. The ironic thing about all this is that over the past few years, thanks to God He's been really changing me, breaking pride and giving submission etc. But maybe it's skin deep...I don't know. Maybe I'm lying to myself on some things. Another prophetic prayer over me recently confirms this a little, since I was told that I am trying to control things in my marriage for example and trying to be the man and hold on, because at that stage Ken wasn't stepping up at ALL. I was too afraid to let go and let God and expect through faith, Ken to step up in The LORD.

I feel as though I've been close to God. I do not deserve it. I feel ministered to by a great man of God. I remember this 'Moses' guy's face, it was olive and round, almost chubby in fact, dark brown eyes and very eastern. I remember his short, black, curly hair which was frizzed out and grown through somewhat. I have no idea who this was or who he symbolised, if anyone.

There were all these physical items that I kept searching through and trying to make sense of. I never managed it. Apparently I was looking to the wrong things.
I just wanted to openly and honestly share my heart here.

The FINAL word on Ken and his past/future

2006-08-26T16:00:00.000-07:00

This has been cross posted to Ken's forum (http://kenflatt.forumco.com/topic~TOPIC_ID~89.asp) and the UCW forum (http://ucwrestling.forumco.com/topic~TOPIC_ID~671.asp) (which I will not be returning to as I know I am not wanted there and I have no desire to be there thank you very much).

Since I work in Media, real Media, this should be interesting. I am clearing the air one LAST time and shall not return to the UCW forum afterwards again. If you wish to send me a response, do so on Ken's forum or here, any responses elsewhere will not sadly be seen. I thank you:

I agree that all this bickering should end. However...

Those who do wrong deserve to be EXPOSED. If a man then comes and makes what he said right and apologises and changes his HEART for real, then fine. If you have done someone a wrong, go and make it right with that person first.

But those who continue to be horrible people, they deserve to be exposed to protect INNOCENT others from falling into the same traps again and again. Fact is, yes this does need to be said because others will otherwise fall for the same charlatans.

Ken was not fired. He was in fact, NEVER paid for any of the hard work that he did for UCW which took him away from his family and his Wife (me) every week sometimes more than once, he spent hours on computers doing media work for FREE (which has now all paid off for him), and he was never paid to wrestle for UCW.

You cannot be fired from a job which does not exist. Gareth did talk to me privately about Ken and fears that he had during a time that Ken was struggling with serious home life issues, but those were not professional fears. He missed a show which he didn't mean to and Gareth's words to me were: 'Ken's takin' the p*ss, and when people start takin' the p*ss with my livlihood, that's when I take action. He's suspended and to be honest with you, I am thinking about not having him back at all'.

That's the TRUTH. He did not fire Ken, when Ken later then returned to the UK from Canada where he'd been, he was still obviously suspended and during that time he QUIT and posted on all his blogs etc that he had quit. Ken texted Gareth personally and told him that he didn't want to be part of UCW any longer. Gareth then took down Ken's bio picture from the UCW webpage - but apparently was telling people at shows that Ken was fired from UCW for taking drugs backstage. That by the way is completely untrue - Ken never took any drugs at a UCW show nor worked under the influence of them for UCW. Gareth told me over the phone while Ken was away in Canada that he believed Ken to be smoking weed. I heard him out but it later turns out that Ken did not smoke weed in any context connected to his paid job in secular terms NOR his hobby of UCW.

You cannot be FIRED from a HOBBY. Gareth did not fire Ken, Ken quit. Gareth then later start saying that he'd been fired. I do not understand why Gareth cares enough to say either way...it doesn't make any sense at all. Why should he care, unless there's more to it perhaps. He's got a fed to run so surely he should focus on that and not ex-wrestlers.

Gossiping behind backs is the lifestyle of playground schoolgirls. Neither Ken nor I want party to any such ladylike behaviour.

As for anyone trying to expose EPW thinking that would be a bad thing for Ken, let me make this clear to you all right here and right now. I understand they have now apologised but this for for any future persons:

EPW is AWESOME and everyone who is part of it is PROUD of it. PROUD! It's an awesome show which has a global, large fan base despite a long hiatus; it has more wrestlers on its roster than some UK indy feds; the literature, posters and DVDs that it produces are yes, of a professional standard (and I work in the media). Fans love EPW because it doesn't take itself too seriously, it's not full of backstabbing or lies it's just pure good old fashioned FUN in the ring and the characters and storylines are actually AMUSING and good for watching. It's a known fact for example, that a certain Jake the Snake trainee marks for McKay :)

I want this to be said this one, last time. Nobody including Ken is in any way ashamed of EPW; it's not backyarding as in light tubes and stupid, generic, non storylined 'characters' simply fighting each other - it has the spirit of an unpaid and under appreciated, internet indy federation about itself. That's why it has so many fans - because it is grass roots. Quite literally. What started as a joke and a p*ss take of real wrestling in a garden and a lounge by a group of friends who were a bit crazy, grew into Britain's most well known back yard fed to date.

Ken's moved on. He's got nothing to do with any failing feds in the UK, only successful ones because this right here is a man who works his buttocks off for nothing because of a deep passion for this business. As his Wife and an avid lover of wrestling myself, I support my Man in this. The other thing about us is that we're Christians. We love and serve an ALMIGHTY God and He despenses justice at His will, which is Holy. Those who curse Men and women of God do so at their peril; God is a jealous God and it says in His word, "Vengence is mine."

Let God be true and every man a liar - let peace start here and go forth. Ken and EPW stand venerated (that means made right and acceptable) with the seal of approval on it, let any for us stand with us. Let any against us, be so but know that they run the risk of going directly against what God is doing in this generation, in this time.

Just each get on with what he was sent here to do in this world and stop hating on people. Hate destroys those who carry it, and I think we are seeing the fruit of that already. Test ALL things.

-=Kim Kaze=-

Struggle

2006-08-16T05:38:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you really feel the struggle to survive and at other times, it just seems so very distant.

Right now, I can feel my struggles.

As of September 2nd 2006, I will need another source of income (aka a paid job). I can either gamble on taking shift work in the support worker sector until a long term temp or perm support worker role shows up in Bristol/Bath, or I can try right now to get a perm job in Editorial/Writing/Journalism work. If I do the latter and nothing happens, come 2/9/06 option one will pretty much kick in, anyway.

I also need to finish working on this DVD with AJM ...

Depending on what I do though, I may or may not continue at full steam in my role as Games Editor with EW, or may downgrade it somewhat. This is definately something I do NOT want to do, but at the end of the day, I need urgently to get paid and that need even now takes presidence over enjoyment in a role.

Those who read this and are Christian, please pray for me that I'll do the right thing by me and my family. Ken starts full time uni in September and will be losing his part time income, replacing this with a small, term-based loan for students.

Muslim letter to Tony Blair

2006-08-12T02:07:00.000-07:00

I have Muslim friends and am not anti-Muslim or anti any-persons. What I am is opinionated and not PC, and anti behaviours or bad concepts which I consider dangerous, immoral or just plain wrong.

---

I have concerns about the letter arriving today in the hands of Tony Blair from Muslim leaders around the UK, calling for change to the UK's policy abroad which is 'fuelling extremism'. The lack of the term 'Islamic' is rather telling, as is the fact that what this logically equates to is, no matter how you dress it up ...

'Anything that may cause followers of Islam to feel the need to act as terrorists should not be in our policy in the UK'

That is simply not the solution, nor is it actually the issue either. Why do I say this? The UK is one of many nations including Egypt, Bali, the US and many others that have been attacked by Islamic terrorists; terrorists who follow Islam reguardless of how politically correct it is to state thus or not. They use the life of their prophet Mohammad and the words of the Qu'ran to justify their actions, of course. The sad fact is no matter how dangerous it is to say it in this current climate, Mohammad did kill and allowed/ordered deaths, attacked and raided caravans many times, went to war, had fits where he thought at some stages he might be possessed by a demon...the list goes on. It is impossible for moderate Muslims to denounce these terrorists as acting in a non-Muslim way entirely unless they are equally willing to condemn the actions of all killings of innocents - which would include those committed by Mohammad. We have seem the Pope apologising for actions in his faith that he considers improper. I would like to see Muslims standing up and decided what exact it IS that they really believe.

A percentage of British Muslims have said as well that they will not condemn 7/7. That also doesn't help.

All in all, the letter to Tony Blair is essentially asking the UK to submit to the threat of terrorism, specifically Islamic rule and opinion. If it may fuel these people, we are not to do it, right or wrongly. The issue of the war(s) is now lost in all this, and we have to ignore the temptation to become so anti war we're willing to submit to anything anyone says who also doesn't like the war.

It's NOT our policy abroad. Many other nations who are not in Iraq have been attacked too. Our Western aid is never refused when it floods in to mostly Islamic nations during times of great need (Tsunami for example, and even now in Lebanon, Western aid is what is trying to get in). There's nothing wrong with our policy in terms of it being set against a certain brand of people ...

What it's against is war mongering and racist nations or groups of people like Hezbollah and statements such as that made by Iran's leaders and Hamas that Israel should be 'wiped off the map' and an Islamic superstate should extent to Spain.

Let the kids live!

2006-08-11T03:01:00.000-07:00

Reading my copy of the Metro (a free paper in the UK) about a week ago, I noticed that one story mentioned kids being banned from doing a tug-o-war. For those who may not know, this is a traditional English challenge between two teams of people on either end of a marked rope, sometimes with a mud bath in the centre, sometimes not. The aim is to pull harder than the opposite team resulting in your marker on the rope crossing a line which mean that you've won ... or in the more traditional versions of the game, pulling the other team literally into the drink.

Not only was this banned in this town's celebration of the summer this year, but also flaming torches were banned for being a health and safety hazzard and replaced with lanterns.

Come ON! This is just crazy. Life is dangerous, but it's also great fun. No one's ever been injured in the tug-o-war at this festival we're told, but because of Britain's sue-you culture, the organisers are pulling it out of fear.

If I have kids, I'm going to let them climb trees, play football, comb doll's hair, have gangs/clubs, explore, swim, boat, climb and do all the things that children should be able to do. So what if occasionally they scrape their knee or elbow, that's life. I would rather live and get hurt occasionally, than live inside a medical bubble wrap cell and never live at all.

I say let the children play, if you expect them to grow up into balanced adults with a good appreciation of life and danger; where it starts and stops.

Forum brings out the anti-religious, hype following mob again

2006-07-27T04:40:00.000-07:00

http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?threadID=2761&edition=1&ttl=20060727122904

Some of the comments on here are insulting, anti-religious and downright rude. No matter what your view, have the decency to put it forward with decorum and a decent argument, or say nothing.

Linking wars with stem cells is merging issues and elephant hurling. Personally I see adult stem cell use going so well and potential use of umbilical cord cells as a scientific, secular reason for not funding embryonic stem cell research.

But how often do you hear this in media?

Never.

Water

2006-07-27T03:09:00.000-07:00

http://news.uk.msn.com/blistering_britain.aspx

I read this and I have a rant to make. The following is a rant-speak. If you do not enjoy such things, look away now.

If we weren’t so busy in this country we could cope with the heat. It is the fact that our economy is built around a rat race mentality which doesn’t allow shorter working days, siestas, and time spent in the shade. Bills would fall and the need to work every hour God sends us would change due to the savings made to users in terms of energy prices for air con and mineral water, bathing etc.

I believe that if we operated as many hotter countries such as Malta & Greece do, we would be fine. It is our rigidness and inability to accept changed behaviours in the heat wave months of July and August that screw us over. We also do waste water and better investment into improving the pipe system and storing up water in wetter, winter months must be initiated. Face it, we had one of the wettest winters EVER this year and now we’re facing a drought? That’s insane.

The only downside to copying behavioural patterns of more third and second world countries in the heat wave months here would be that these nations cannot compete economically at the top of the food chain as it were, because of their lifestyle and other factors – but lifestyle is a factor. Admittedly by adopting some of these measures, we would become less competitive.

Stand pipes would be terrible, but really teach a few people lessons about what we have ‘the right’ to and what we don’t. In this country, basically speaking, you can get anything so long as you’re willing to pay for it or bitch enough for it. We’re spoilt, really, if you look on a global scale.

This generation has never been told NO, never been rationed for anything. The closest thing we’ve had is the odd hose pipe ban and many people openly flaunt that in ‘the right’ of their flowers to be watered, I even heard one radio show host advertising tips for how to flaunt the hosepipe ban in one area, when he had a guest on the show openly saying ‘screw the ban, I’ll do it because I have just bought some little pines and I wanna’ water those in case they wilt’.

Whilst I hate water bans and stand pipes as much as the next person, it’s attitudes like this one above that cause these water wasting issues half the time and mean the rest of us have to pick up the tab for greedy persons who feel they are somehow above the law. It may suck but if there is water rationing here, I for one will observe it. Not because I want to, but because to do otherwise would be anarchistic.

-=George=-

UK exclusive, first hands-on Wii play!

2006-07-07T13:55:00.000-07:00

For UK gamers interested in the Wii, the first UK hands-on play was yesterday and here’s a brief report on said experience from your very own Kim Kaze:

http://www.entertainmentwise.com/news?id=19416

I Used To

2006-07-03T11:19:00.000-07:00

I used to think I was a fighter.
I used to think I was a man.
I used to think I was the greatest story teller.
I used to think fact was fiction.
Or was it ... ?

I used to see people as shadows,
I used to think hands were a fist.
I used to hate rules and boundaries,
I used to have everything missed.

I used to feel thin and intelligent,
I used to be hard and secure.
I used to lead gangs and sound elloquent,
I even decided to score.

I used to play sports and go out in the sun,
I used to ride bikes and build dens.
I used to create ways for friends to have fun,
And I used to get trapped in dead ends.

I used to think I was not wanted.
I used to be insecure.
I used to be violent.
I used to think I was gay.

I used to have no idea what a Mother was,
I used to despise a Father.
I used to see God as a boss who I'd prove myself to.
What else is there to say?

I wasn't gay. I wasn't hard. I wasn't sick, I wasn't a fool. I wasn't easy, I wasn't stupid.I wasn't clever, I wasn't the one, I wasn't stuck, I wasn't a guy and I wasn't alone.

I was George, I was planned, I was given to a Man, I was woman, I was smart enough to do what needed to be done, I was able to have fun, I was able to think for myself, I was able to enjoy human company, I was healed, I was set free. I could feel the wind on my face and hear birdsong. The warmth of a spring evening caused me to stretch out my toes as I lay on the bed, in the shade of the blood-red curtain.

Free to live, not to rely on a moment in the past when it all become so clear.
Free to walk onward, feeling pain and joy, anger and happiness, sadness and authority within and without. A struggle of worthy motion. Mud feels alive when it's squirting between trudging toes.

I used to be a chance waiting to spin and just happen.
Just take place.
Lust, desire, self pity, anger, resentment
Finally giving in and wondering why this 'peace' feels so ... empty?
Like a timebomb waiting to explode and take my life.

I chose no accidental stream of situations.
I chose something else.
Trudge, mud, squirt, ow.
There's that wind - I am alive.
I hurt, because I live.
There was blood on my hands and I chose to wipe it off.
Given the choice - wade in or wipe,I wiped.
Someone was still right.
I cried, I lamented,
Someone was still right.
I chose to follow Him.
I chose to believe.

Stay in the stream, because I used to be a lake and lakes don't run, they just dry up.

New start, old lies?

2006-07-02T15:24:00.000-07:00

Life's funny like that.
It shoves you face flat
Out on the ground.
Just when you think you've seen everything,
You haven't seen anything.

Tomorrow is a new beginning.
A chance to work towards a better tomorrow.

What does it matter
When people are hurting,
Misunderstanding?
Turning, twisting, writhing?
When there's an enemy;
Sick and dirty
Stalking my friends and my foes,
Those I know and those I don't know.
Consuming
Confusing
Collecting heads.

Playing the same game,
Just dealing new hands.

He doesn't care who he hurts,
Nor whom he kills.

A Marriage or a Mother,
A lifedream or a Brother,
The pages or the cover,
Blood splatters,
Nothing matters.

I stand against you.
I show you this Sword.
Yes I may be weak.
Yes your lies are strong.
Yes the weak have given in
BUT!

'I can do ALL THINGS through Christ, who strengthens me'.

That's the end.
There is nothing else that needs to be added.
It's going to be over,
In His time,
You'll fail,
In His time.

Friends in strange places ...

2006-06-30T05:32:00.000-07:00

Friends coming back from Oxford and Mattersey, it all feels so strange. Brothers going away, others starting work. It's all so strange.

Fact is, many things change but what really matters, the undercurrents - they stay the same. You can depend on those things to always be there.

We all suffer from stress and challenges from time to time. We feel helpless and tossed around by the waves of life. But we need to look to what God has set for us ahead in our pathway and though we don't always see further than today alone, sometimes that is all we can handle. If we knew what tomorrow held, perhaps we would never arrive in it.

Hang on to what is good. Do not call good evil, and evil good. Taste and SEE what is truely good. By their FRUITS you shall know them. A foul-tasting fruit grows on a foul-tasting tree.

The tongue has within it the power of life and death, he who cannot control their tongue is like a wild boar, destructive and easily influenced by carnal urges. They will bring DEATH and destruction to any household that makes their peace with them.

Have NO PART of such people.

A date with Ken ... in Wales

2006-06-26T11:42:00.000-07:00

Yep, that's right.

Ken and I went out on saturday to a wrestling show staged by Celtic Wrestling (www.celticwrestling.com). It was one of their 'adult' shows, which meant swearing and adult themes allowed. Metal bands played the interval and show end off, and they were pretty darm good.

The main reason for going was to have a wonderful drive through Wales, enjoy meeting Ken's wrestling friends and get back out there hot on the scene.

I convinced Ken to ask to bump in the ring and he had a brief go - loved it. Apparently several folk asked if he might work the show or a future show, which means that nobody's forgotten my Big Man! :D

Ken thoroughly enjoyed himself and fitted right in. I enjoyed it also and was subtle most of the time, making sure Ken had drinks and hot dogs, and was enjoying himself. It was a great 'date' and I can't wait till the next one!

Another new job

2006-06-23T10:37:00.000-07:00

Yes, I've got another new job. Went to two interviews, one after the other. The first one I came second and lost out narrowly on experience to a better, older worker. That's fair enough and I accept that totally.

The second I was given. Not bad, eh? Time to celebrate with my HUSBAND, who I will be going out with tomorrow and also for Mad Eli's birthday - he practically is forcing us to both go. I think he likes hanging out with us because we don't give him any of that ageism rubbish.

Notice in particular the way that I managed to state all of the above without using a swear word. Yes uneducated/angry people, it really is possible. Try it some time.

So, times are a rollin'. Looks like once again, I can support my family as everyone ought to, equally. Girls - if we want equality, we got to work for it and I for one have always been up for that. Don't think so? Check the old CV.

I think the word at this point is 'Hurrah'.

Two nights of heavy dreaming

2006-06-20T23:46:00.000-07:00

For two or more nights now, I know that I've been heavily dreaming in a memory sort of way. Two dreams, one last night and the other the night before though, stand out as memories.

The first one was definately a repeat dream that is scattered through time (i.e. I keep having dreams in the same location every so often). It's some sort of camping site or beach combined somehow. There's buildings, grassy areas and sandy areas too. There is also some orange lantern decorated cafe-resturant place, with a name that escapes me just now. People eat and drink there.

On this occasion, some army bully boys were starting something with some friends of mine. We were just sitting to be served and they were already there and leaving after their meal. Food appeared to be the largest single chip that I have ever seen!

I stood up and started shoving over this table, and then another ad the army guys came over all stalking and threatening behaviour. I felt this stern gleam come over my eyes and I just went into that zone where fear becomes irrelevent.

They mostly walked up to me and then left the resturant, chewing and chuckling but not laying a hand on me or the guy they were previously bullying. I stood above the door which was a grassy archway somehow, this whole courtyard place was outdoor.

I watched them all leave bar the sargeant type one in charge. He had a huge long chin and blonde hair. he seemed quite cocky and he stood below me looking up. I glared down at him and then hopped down to meet his gaze on his level. I could feel the hard anger and the readiness to fight in my dream. I was so ready to go.

He said something pretty basic and I just snorted and said something back such as 'Well bring it if you've got it 'cause I am fed up with all the talking'.

Then he did leave and at that point I woke up, feelign so ready to take on the world in a fight it was weird.

--

The second dream last night (the one just gone) was also strange. It went on for ages and I don't remember that much about it bar it was some sort of Goonies take off. I was one of a bunch of kids about 12-15 years old on the run from adults who represented some sort of law, maybe Police. There was a key team leader of the adults we were set against. I think we had something or someone of value they wanted, and we were hiding out somewhat in this old, dark, brownish structure which appeared to be an old building disused in the main, but full of floors and different rooms full of odd and useful things.

I recall we had some sort of hard to get to den on the top floor of this building and the dream ended with us running up there for the second or third time in succession to hide, and being followed.

There was a lot of hatch opening, slow door movement and struggling to get away.

In the end, we did seem to get caught up with but the adults couldn't simply grab us because we hid what they were looking for. One by one we were taken into custody and put on a train to get out of here, though some of us were herded (like me) and not actually physically touched. I remember ordering some sofa cushions in the den on the floor to hide trap doors etc.

Even once we'd been found we seemed to still be able to make runs for it, etc. It was a very hard to explain experience, but extremely cool to dream. The last thing I recall was watching a fat kid being dropped off home in the snow at some sort of rundown chinatown or gastown like place, and bouncing back (don't ask me where this ninja stuff came from!) from the tracks of the train up a short hill to his run down house, calling back to me 'Look out for what we hid!'

I looked from him on the right of the tracks to the left, behind us on this train or tram, that had just come out of a rocky tunnel, which held up a hill where this guy's house stood.

On the left of the tracks, laying in the grassy mess there, was a pile of EPW title belts. I smirked - the loot was stashed. I am pretty certain this wasn't all the adults were looking for (I think it was us plus several pieces of loot), or maybe the thign they were after switched around and kept changing in the dream, it's possible. Either way, it ended with Ken softly awaking me from the dream as the train carried on and my character continued his plotting. I am always a guy in these sort of dreams.

I am tired

2006-06-19T04:02:00.000-07:00

Stretched like a rubber band,
Thin like wire,
Hot muscles on heavy bones.
Spinning head,
Clumsey fingers,
Growl and stalk the house around.

I am tired.
I am shattered.
I need to be held, massaged, put to bed.

I need to hear a silky song,
Feel warm bedclothes
Against my skin.
A soft cat's fur,
Or just a cuddle.
Anything that doesn't demand of me.

Anything soft, anything silky.
I am tired.

It's good to be The King

2006-06-15T02:46:00.000-07:00

Yes you do, oh yes you do ...

It's usually good to be The King, baby.

Home is my castle, inhabited by the King & Queen of hardcore.

Don't like blogs? Then DON'T READ 'EM!

2006-06-12T20:42:00.000-07:00

Heh heh. You know, there was a time when I actually thought I'd heard the most rambling, inane and crazy banter known to man ...

Everyone is wrong once in a while, and far more frequently than they'd be willing to admit, I'm sure.

If you don't like public blogs, the concent of the online diary or daily musing place which describe semi personal details about the life and times of it's writer; their thoughts & concerns, don't READ IT. It's very simple, really. If you're a private person and being public scares you like a girl - don't be public and don't whine when other people are. It's really that simple, bee.

Speaking of which, on Doctor's orders I am now healthier and fitter than ever and quite considering an EPW return, though I do not consider myself a wrestler any more than Tajiri's style makes one a 'wrestler' more so than a martial artist.

I am not a wrestler. I am a fighter who likes wrestling. Deal with it, darlings. Oh; and I can also write & act. That must just bug some people - that and the fact that I achieved anything in the first place and went out there and just did it, not caring what other, less secure people thought.

Heh heh. Still, at least I have something to laugh my head off about, eh?

Studying hard

2006-06-08T02:07:00.000-07:00

Yep, it's that time again.
A lot of my friends are taking exams at various levels, none more important to me of course than my own Husband Ken, who is taking some GCSEs right now, and I wish him all the best in that.

Go Big Man! :D

PS: http://crazeekim.livejournal.com/ <-- That's my rarely ever used LJ.

Five Years of smirking warfare

2006-06-02T22:50:00.000-07:00

Today, we celebrate FIVE YEARS of our marriage; Ken and I.

My Husband and I have fought off all comers, all problems and continue to battle our way through the difficult life that is ours. No we haven't had it easy. We certainly haven't found it simple at all. In fact, it's hard as hell. But we commited before God and in the eyes of witnesses that we, as fighters, heroes and Christians, would win out over this life and all it's circumstances.

I love My Husband. He is my Big Man. Ken is a private person though and doesn't usually share his thoughts in public such as the net, so you'll only have here my own thoughts to contend with :)

We went out and ate sushi etc. at a Japanese resturant. My Mum drove us up there and my brother Jazz and our mutual friend Mat Owen, collected us in Jazz's car. We both had a lot to eat and also green tea.

We said we loved each other and kissed.

Another great day in the grand progression of life. Gifts have been given to me by girls at work, who don't seem to want me to go. I will sorely miss them when I leave 'the house' on Sunday morning.

First times are great :)

2006-05-30T03:52:00.000-07:00

In life, sometimes you get to do something for the first time.

This morning, about two hours ago for about oh ... 40 minutes? I had a great first time of my own.

I can only recommend it. My business what it was ;)

My God shall supply ALL my needs ....

2006-05-28T11:51:00.000-07:00

My God is so big,
So strong and so mighty,
There's nothing that He cannot do.

May the God of my Fathers have mercy upon you.

---

The last few days have been good here. I have handed in my notice at work and will soon be back to work in Bristol. The hire car has been taken back as well, and I am dealing with the speeding issue.

My Husband is right now touching my cheeks and saying 'Cheeeeeks!' he is warm and has been outside wrestling today, which was lovely.

E....P....W :)

In Bed, in life, in all ways ...

2006-05-26T05:00:00.000-07:00

Though you can't see a lot of her here, this would be Ken's Wife, Kim.

With cane rose hair, drinking the lovely cup of tea that her Big Man just made her before she has to go to work.

I don't appear to be wearing any bed clothes though ... hmm. I wonder what we've been up to :)

"The first bond of society is marriage; the next, children; then the family."
-- Cicero, De officiis (78. BC)

"For this reason (the reason of marriage) a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
-- Ephesians 5:31 (NKJV)

Ken asked me

2006-05-24T14:41:00.000-07:00

Today, I was at work doing a full shift.
After which, Ken asked me to do voice samples for him.

We have found the time to hug, kiss and nuzzle like the meows we are.

I have been very busy with chores, work and also media work for various things I am working on.

Victorious in The LORD.

Let's ROCK

2006-05-23T15:31:00.000-07:00

Heads I win
Tails you lose
Get out of my way
I'm coming through.
Roll the dice, don't think twice!
And we crush *crush*
Crush 'ya *crush 'ya*!

Now we lay you down to rest
You'll never be more than second best! (Hah hah)
Step inside bee',
You're in for a ride
And we crush 'ya
CRUSH 'YA!

Jesus, bring Your salvation, healing and deliverence, Your conviction and Your Holy awe to those who are LOST ... lost and going to a LOST eternity.

Have MERCY on them. They know not their own grave stupidity.

Go, and sin no more

2006-04-28T00:45:00.000-07:00

The words of Jesus moments after He saved an adulterous woman from the Jewish death penalty, which she rightly could have suffered in that era of history.

Why did he save her? She deserved to die. She did do that sin. She was guilty and she knew it.

I believe Jesus forgave her because only He has authority on earth to forgive sins. He indeed is LORD of holiness and He can allot holiness to any who throw themselves at His mercy.

Why am I writing this right now?

Simple. The key factor here is that Jesus told her to go and sin no more. Yes; if you like to say it that way, there IS a condition on that forgiveness, because God is not mocked it says elsewhere in scripture.

That condition is repentance, having nothing further to do with that sin and those who drag you down into it. To turn away, to reject it and to live a new way.

Forgiveness is free, but in exchange we carry his 'yoke' (burden). The Bible promises that his burden is easy and his yolk is light, but it doesn't say there is no burden whatsoever.

Therefore, today if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts (Hebrews). Repent of sin, turn away from sin, forgive yourself and let others forgive you. Do not be like a dog that returns to his vomit (sin).

Rethink

2006-04-15T07:48:00.000-07:00

Whilst everything around me
Stays the same:
The dogs are walking
Cats are purring.

I look around
and nothing feels
the same it ever did.

It seems to me
that somethings changed
right on the inside,
right on the inside of me.

Currents changing,
Rivers raging,
Inside me, inside me.
You pushed me in
and made me swim
You changed the channel boy,
You changed it all.

The people's faces stare
and they don't care
because their world's
the same it was last night.

But mine's not right
There's war in here,
There's more to fear
Than just another fight.

Currents changing,
Rivers raging,
Inside me, inside me.
You pushed me in
and made me swim
You changed the channel boy,
You changed it all.

And at the end
I'll tell you what;
There's just no way
I will delay

I'll grab on tight
and show that love
born out of fight
that'l live through floods.

Currents changing,
Rivers raging,
Inside me, inside me.
You pushed me in
and made me swim
You changed the channel boy,
We'l still stand tall.

Still stand tall ...
Through it all ...
There's nothing sure,
'Cept love that's pure.

The greatest of these ... it's love.
Love never fails.

Copyright Kim Kaze 2006 (Use with permission)

A mixed bag of nuts

2006-04-15T02:32:00.000-07:00

So they say they want me at work until the end of May at least. Well, that's good news. In fact, that's awesome news.

I have a better hire car now, with air conditioning and a CD player, and air bag.

I also have my writing/editing work on the back burner which I will leap into the second I am out of this job, I feel. The job that I am currently in (which I adore) has given me training in keyworking and so I will leave it a trained support worker.

There's a lot more earnings in being a support worker, over a simple receptionist or fill-in staff member at hostels and the like. So I have my media and my support work both now going really well.

All I now need, is to share these joys with my man.

Tunnel of agony

2006-04-13T09:27:00.000-07:00

Words streaming down my face,
and into my heart.
My ears must be wrong.
I deny my ears; they lie.
Anger, hatred, desperation, clinging.
I will fight, fight for what is mine.
Surely there is something I can do!

Everything hurts, everything aches.
My mind is rent down the middle,
and I cannot think or plan a single action.

I cry, I moan.
I scream and I hit things.
LIAR! THIEF!
DECEPTION is evil.

I will fight. I will save my hero.
In every way he needs to be saved.

My love burns. I fight.
We seem to find a standing space in the chaos.

Then I have to go.
He says it's fine.
He is going too, for a while.
I trust, I choose to believe.

When I return, he's gone.
Again, I am sick.
I cannot tell anybody.
It's probably nothing, and yet I find clues.
I ache.
Desperate just to hear his voice,
just to know he is all right,
that he is content,
that he is coming home.
And when.

Just waiting, waiting.
Adrenalin spurting, every thought knifes back to the beginning.
The first few words, then the sickness comes.
I think I am going to be sick.
There is a bomb in my gullet.

Just one word, my darling.

Just one.

How spoilt are you, then?

2006-04-12T15:24:00.000-07:00

It's one of those things. I thought I would, you know? You are spoiled if your score is over 40, apparently. I think it may be written by an American, so take that into account as you read.

Do you have:
(X) your own cell phone
(X) a tv in your bedroom
(X) an ipod/MP3 player
( ) a photo printer
(X) your own phone line
(X) TiVo or a generic digital video recorder
(X) high-speed internet access
( ) a surround sound system in bedroom
(X) dvd player in bedroom
( ) at least a hundred DVDs
(X) a childfree bathroom
(X) your own in-house office
( ) a pool
( ) a guest house
( ) a game room
(X) a queen-size bed
( ) a stocked bar
(X) a working dishwasher
( ) an icemaker
( ) a working washing machine and dryer
( ) more than 20 pairs of shoes
( ) at least ten things from a designer store
( ) expensive sunglasses
( ) framed authentic art (not lithographs)
( ) Egyptian cotton sheets or towels
( ) a multi-speed bike
( ) a gym membership
( ) large exercise equipment at home
( ) your own set of golf clubs
( ) a pool table
( ) a tennis court
( ) local access to a lake, large pond, or the sea
( ) your own pair of skis
( ) enough camping gear for a weekend trip in an isolated area
( ) a boat
( ) a jet ski
( ) a neighborhood committee membership
( ) a beach house or a vacation house/cabin
( ) wealthy family members
( ) two or more family cars
( ) a walk-in closet or pantry
(X) a yard
( ) a hammock
( ) a personal trainer
(X) good credit
( ) expensive jewelry
( ) a designer bag that required being on a waiting list to get
( ) at least $100 cash in your possession right now (for emergencies)
( ) more than two credit cards bearing your name (not counting gas cards or debit cards)
( ) a stock portfolio
(X) a passport
( ) a horse
( ) a trust fund (either for you or created by you)
( ) private medical insurance
( ) a college degree, but no student loans

MY TOTAL: 14

Do you:
( ) shop for non-needed items for yourself (like clothes, jewelry, electronics) at least once a week( ) do your regular grocery shopping at high-end or specialty stores
( ) pay someone else to clean your house, do dishes, or launder your clothes
( ) go on weekend mini-vacations
( ) send dinners back with every flaw
( ) wear perfume or cologne
( ) regularly get your hair styled or nails done in a salon
( ) have a job but don't need the money OR
( ) stay at home with little financial sacrifice
( ) pay someone else to cook your meals
( ) pay someone else to watch your children or walk your dogs
( ) regularly pay someone else to drive you
( ) expect a gift after you fight with your partner

MY TOTAL: 0

Are you:
( ) an only child
( ) married/partnered to a wealthy person
( ) baffled/surprised when you don't get your way

MY TOTAL: 0

Have you:
( ) been on a cruise
(X) traveled out of the country
(X) met a celebrity
( ) been to the carribean
(X) been to Europe
( ) been to Hawaii
(X) been to New York
( ) Eaten at the space needle in seattle
( ) been to mall of america
( ) been on the eiffel tower in paris
( ) been on the statue of liberty in new york
(X) moved more than three times because you wanted to
(X) dined with local political figures
( ) been to both the Atlantic coast and the Pacific coast (in any country)

MY TOTAL: 6

Did you:
(X) go to another country for your honeymoon
( ) hire a professional photographer for your wedding or party
( ) take riding or swimming lessons as a child
( ) attend private school
( ) have a Sweet 16 birthday party thrown for you

MY TOTAL: 1

MY TOTAL: 21

Are people scared or awed at eclipse?

2006-03-29T07:56:00.000-08:00

Eyes to the sky as solar eclipse crosses globe

By Orla Ryan

CAPE COAST, Ghana (Reuters) - Shouting, clapping or praising God, awestruck locals and tourists gazed skywards on Ghana's coastline on Wednesday as a total solar eclipse cast a shadow across Africa and tracked on to the Middle East.

"God is great, this shows the greatness of God. This shows the greatness of Nature. It is very, very beautiful, I've never experienced anything like this before," said Ghanaian Nana Appah, joining crowds at Cape Coast beach, the first spot where the event was easily visible.

The track of the eclipse stretches from eastern Brazil, across the Atlantic to north Africa, then on to the Middle East, Central Asia, west China and Mongolia.

The longest view -- four minutes and seven seconds -- was at Libya's Wao Namus settlement near the Chadian border 2,000 km (1,250 miles) south of Tripoli.

The air cooled and an eerie half-light descended over the ancient slave fort at Cape Coast, west of Ghana's capital Accra, as the moon obscured the sun for approximately three minutes.
Cries of "Hallelujah" and "Praise the Lord" rang out as watchers shouted and clapped in excitement, sharing protective glasses. Drivers hooted their horns.

The shadow of the eclipse, which occurs when the moon passes directly in front of the sun, made landfall on Ghana's coastline at 0908 GMT and moved swiftly inland.

"It is amazing, the best experience of my life. I never imagined I would see this, it is a wonderful experience," said Jan Jalving, a Dutch visitor to Cape Coast.

As soon as the outline of the moon began to creep across the face of the sun, crowds turned out on the beaches and streets, on balconies and rooftops at Cape Coast.

Foreign tourists travelled to Ghana especially to see the eclipse.

For 51-year-old amateur astronomer Lou Petterchak, from Denver, Colorado, it was the fifth he had witnessed.

"I am touring the world, one eclipse at a time. I enjoy the eclipse, it is much more of an excuse to travel," he said.

"The eclipse is the coolest natural phenomenon I have ever seen in my life," said another U.S. tourist, Evelyn Alton.

"I turn 50 next month, it is kind of a treat for my birthday," she added.

Across the continent at Salloum, an Egyptian town on the border with Libya, thousands including Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak and his wife Suzanne gathered to watch. Some onlookers blew trumpets, beat drums and danced.

Astronomers observed the phenomenon through telescopes and tourists from all over the world peered through protective sunglasses and binoculars as the moon passed in front of the sun and the temperature dropped.

"I feel excited. This is the first time I've seen something like this in life," Egyptian Hady Gohar said.

Partial solar eclipses are fairly common, but total eclipses are rarer and involve the moon totally obscuring the sun, a sight visible within a specific corridor, more than 100 km (60 miles) wide, which traverses half the earth.

African governments warned their people not to risk damage to their eyesight by trying to view it with the naked eye.

Tens of thousands of pairs of simple sunglasses or "solar goggles" were being distributed or sold to allow people to view the eclipse safely.

Togo's government declared a half-day holiday on Monday and recommended that parents keep their children indoors to stop them damaging their eyes.

At Cape Coast, African and U.S. academics organised a conference on astrology and culture to coincide with the event.

Tanzanian Felix Chami, a professor of archaeology at the University of Dar es Salaam, said people in the past had often attributed religious significance to eclipses, though these beliefs had waned somewhat in modern times.

"Today, people are mostly Christian. In the past, people were scared, they believed that the sun was God and that the eclipse meant something was wrong with the sun," he said.

Double standard for freedom of expression

2006-02-02T09:32:00.000-08:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4673908.stm (also many other sites)

Today, there was serious media and political unrest. Over ... cartoon drawings in newspapers. Of the prophet Mohammad, founder of the Islamic religion.

I have a problem with this. The whole point of critical awareness and examination of things is to accept criticism, providing that it is not inciting hatred or violence, and does not specifically attack one person who could then be harmed personally by those remarks.

Islam seems to be removing itself from the arena of comedy and artwork, enforcing the old law that Mohammad may not be depicted in art.

Images of Jesus which are often highly rude and suggestive of various non-christian things are frequently presented throughout global media, and are left un challenged almost entirely. It seems Christians, who are seen as a soft, loving majority who'd better shut up and not complain, are allowed and even expected to be silent in the face of highly critical and sometimes down right mocking (see a recent confession by the National Secular Society concerning their desire to mock religious people and their faith using free speech) attacks from secular folk as well as folk of other faiths.

There should quite blatently be one, global rule for everyone, for all depictions of anything or anyone - whether they support or deride a school of thought.

Of course people should act with respect. I have never disrespected a religion using images or lies. But freedom to do so in order to allow free criticism of all things equally must be in existance, otherwise what we have is a two tier system. A suspicious mind may say that a 'religion of peace' needs to back up that claim by not having gunmen surround an embassy to persuade governments to stop their press drawing cartoon images of Mohammad.

Should Blizzard have banned 'sexuality talk' on their game?

2006-02-01T08:18:00.000-08:00

www.joystiq.com/2006/01/31/blizzard-vs-gaymers-are-other-minorities-next/

Heh heh. A bit of a fuss over nothing perhaps, but they make a fair point. However, if the game makers want to say 'we don't have the staff to police sexuality/religious/political issues' then it's their damn server. People often miss this amid an emotional roller coaster of 'freedom of expression', and they forget that there are still some counter rights to take into account. For example; if you come onto my property, I have the right to dictate to you what you can and cannot do based upon any whim I wish. If you don't like it, you can leave. Harsh, but remove that right and you have supreme 'Big Brother' action.

It's the old 'should a Jewish club have to accept membership from a KKK member?' argument archetype all over again.

It's saying you can't pick who you want at work or whatever, you have to have anyone. If it's my money, I can spend it on whoever and whatever I want. I resent any authority telling me that I have to be 'fair' in a Government-set sense, with what's mine. There's two sides to the issue; Blizzard's server rights and people's right to express themselves.

You can't swear in game. That's freedom of expression limited right there, and you don't see people really objecting, because it's common sense. At the end of the day, you can ask for permission to do something anywhere, but if the answer is no, you have the option to leave. Personally I don't play MMOs to discuss religion, politics or sexuality - so I don't feel effected by such a rule. Those who do, I have a degree of sympathy with, but at the end of the day, I fear any society that tells owners of property (whether cyber or real) what they can and can't do with their own land/space.

The trouble with people's rights, is that there's more than one person's rights to consider. Always.

Reading some bloke's comments ...

2006-01-18T07:10:00.000-08:00

I found this comment on the following atheist's blog web site: (www.geoffarnold.com/mt-archives/000349.html)

'fby, your feable attempt to minimize the reality of the statistical improbability of life occuring spontateously is comical. 1/1000? If it were anywhere near 1/1000, life would be springing up all over. In the last analysis I saw (this was a few years ago, I admit), you would have to put over 20 zeroes behind the 1 to begin to get close to how low the probability is. How could anybody put their faith in a belief system that is so improbable? This is why Flew changed - it is only logical to do so when faced with the facts.

It is clear that you have your own religion, and that's ok. You have put your faith in a scientifically impossible fantasy, while most others put their faith in an unprovable deity. Just two different versions of religion/faith that can not be proven and both seem illogical to the objective observer.'

---Kcbmc (kcbmc@yahoo.com)

In a latter comment, he also added:

'You are coming very close to the brink upon which Mr. Flew stood not too long ago. Humanly speaking, 1 chance in 10*20 is the same thing as "impossible". In scientific terms we try not to use the word "impossible", however. Your belief in such an event puts you at the pinnacle of intellectual dishonesty - the belief in a theory that is beyond plausibility.

It is this confrontation with intellectual honesty upon which Mr. Flew changed his position. The level of absurdity is too much for a thinking individual to sustain - lest you fall into the catogory of delusional or denial.'

What's the deal with ex-atheist Anthony Flew believing in a God now?

2006-01-18T06:42:00.000-08:00

http://www.secweb.org/asset.asp?AssetID=369

This link is to a secular, atheistic/humanistic web site (just check the buttons at the base if you don't think so). Their article, which is rather damning in places and seems a little unfair towards the very end at least, frames the basics of Anthony Flew's relatively recently recantation of athiesm, to embrace instead a rather deistic concept of God, since he has yet to experience or see evidence for personally any 'special revelation' (Christian, Islamic, Jewish or otherwise).

http://www.godandscience.org/apologetics/flew.html

This on the other hand, is a Christian web site also documenting this situation.

http://www.biola.edu/antonyflew/

And this is an actual interview, published Winter 2004 in a journal.

Why am I writing about it? Simple. Things change. People change. Science and knowledge changes. The way we see the Bible may also change, although the Bible itself does not. The way we view evil, good and right and wrong may also change with our growing understanding of life and what questions we even should be asking of it.

Keep your mind open. Study the facts. Hear what others have to say, especially if your current belief system is based firmly in the camp of 'I haven't ever seen it, and papers argue that your understanding of what it is that you claim to know, is faulty or false'.

Un PC dreams?

2006-01-17T23:11:00.000-08:00

The funny thing about dreams is that they don't seem to feel the need to apply any particular standard to them - even your own mental standards. Political correctness, belief, knowledge or cencorship seems banished well and truely from the realms of dreaming.

Two nights ago, I dreamt a lot of varied things. At one point though, I actually awoke in surprise at what I was dreaming!

There was a football stadium of some sort, quite a large one. Filled with people all sitting or standing in the rows. It was packed and something was about to begin in the stadium.

Before it did though, over the tannoy system one man was given the honour of opening the ceremony (why I do not know). He was in the crowd and pre selected obviously.

He said into his microphone, 'Let's open our Bibles...to John chapter 1 verse 15'. I think I am remembering this right. http://www.blueletterbible.org/kjv/Jhn/Jhn001.html

Surprisingly, almost everyone had a book, though not all. Many opened them and looked at the page. Some then closed the book after looking down at it.

Then the man with the mic' started to try to read. He made some noises that sounded semi arabic, but was clearly not properly spoken arabic either. It was garbeled and struggling attempts to read and understand. The word 'allah' was used several times as he read on, trying ...

Then he stopped and looked up, horror on his face. He then spoke once again in perfect english, as before:

"Wait a minute ... what is this? This is England!" He shut the book and sat down. I awoke with a start.

I actually don't think this dream was at all about dissing the Islamic book of faith. I think it was a statement about the realities of faiths plural in this nation, and a possible orwellian glance into a possible future scenario. Quite clearly this man's Bible was not written in english, you see.

Anyway, I don't want to read too much into it and I certainly am not attacking anybody. But I liked how un PC the dream was, and how it caused me to question what it could be about.

--

The following night, I dreamt again many things. In one, myself, Jazz, Allan and Kelly were in some strange, dark place with houses where you could walk on the roofs/flat tops. The enemy people/aliens were everywhere. I attacked several with a base ball bat and then we all escaped on the ferry ...

Strange. Certainly not reading much into that, since it was totally mixed up!

A concious robot says Dawkins was wrong ...

2006-01-17T22:47:00.000-08:00

There again ... he also begins his piece on his own blog by stating that religion and faith is all 'blind faith' and not questioned, that in fact that is what faith is. In this, he (or she - though who cares if it's a collection of atoms!) is very wrong, and this is not debatable because faith itself says that it is to be tested. What am I talking about now? Christianity. The Bible. Here in follows my comment on his/her blog. I do not know if the original will be published, but it was non inflammatory so it ought to be, in the interests of fairness:

'N Reinhardt has obviously got a shoe up his rear concerning anyone who dares to have such a thing as faith. I pity anyone with that much blatent bile in his life - according to his own evolutionary faith, his bitterness will accordingly carry him to an earlier grave than I, and therefore screw his genes in doing so. Ho hum.

Your definition of faith at the very top of your article however, is actually incorrect. Other than that, I agree with much of your article although as a Christian I see things through different glasses/biases to your own.

Faith for a selection of individuals is blind, but for the vast majority of us who have faith in something, it is based on a plethora of testable, repeatable (in some cases) and logically understandable causes such as personal experience, science, history, geography, art, music, teaching, evidences and many other factors coming into play.

For myself, I was supernaturally healed and have found God to be real, speak and evidences of His hand in the world and on the lives of others who I have met and watched. It is far from a blind faith, although I also accept it cannot ultimately be 'proven' to a laboratory degree. It was never meant to be, however to begin your paper by agreeing with Dawkins that sweepingly so, all religion and all faith (here you make no distinctions) is wrong and blind, is based on never questioning anything - is incorrect.

Did you know that modern science is almost exclusively built on the backbone of Christianity and in certain cases Islamic early science, driven by the monotheistic belief in a supreme creator who created order? Did you also realise that the Bible doesn't just ask one, it commands one to test all things - including itself, faith, reason and everything else out there? I cannot speak for other faiths but I can tell you that Christianity - the real Christianity - commands that people are to test it and not blindly believe in it. Because a handful do, doesn't mean it should be wrongly called 'blind faith'.

---

This is convinient at best and at worst - intellectually dishonest as it errects a strawman that an atheist can then attack, easily topple to make himself feel better. The real thing is a little different and has yet to be toppled in this great age of logic, science & reason. In fact God is on the move just as much if not more, including within the lives of many great men of science and understanding.

Only eating chips and sausages?

2006-01-17T22:28:00.000-08:00

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006020536,00.html

If you are a fussy eater ... or scared of ops, think again and start eating better.

It's a fact.

2006-01-15T14:07:00.000-08:00

I feel really uncomfortable. Really.

'Gag' image

2006-01-13T14:29:00.000-08:00

My Husband drew this and thought it rather funny. Obviously poking fun and not trying to make any serious point ... but then again everyone's not serious and sometimes it's good to see exactly how much of a sense of humour 'the other lot' seem to have.

Can you take a chuckle?

Dawkins gets examined - and found wanting

2006-01-10T08:55:00.001-08:00

At last! Someone with the brass in their sporen if you'll excuse the crassness, to challenge Dawkins on his own territory - intellectual thinking.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,3604,1681002,00.html

Before anyone cries foul, no this is not a religious or Christian article. You may notice it's from the Guardian, which is anything but a religious rag itself.

I was so pleased with this article's honesty, firm nature and free-thinking, that I wrote this to the author of the piece:

Dear Madeleine,

Can I just thank you for not being afraid to stand up and write something critical (science = knowledge and knowledge comes through critical awareness and thinking, right?) of Richard Dawkins' work of late. I appreciate your thoughtful, firm and ethical piece in which you wrote fairly and with a mind of critical thought – not dogma for any particular mindset. After all, one of the great faiths of the world and the most followed, Christianity, has it said in the Bible it holds to, to ‘Test all things’. Something Dawkins repeatedly denies Christians believe in or practice, and something which may I be so bold as to assert that quite clearly, he does not practice himself in certain areas, despite being an obviously highly intelligent man.

In exposing his dogmatic hatred for religion and especially Christianity in the UK and USA (where it is seeing the most problems, unlike in Asia, Africa and South America where it is exploding), you have placed the ball firmly in his court for once. So few ever do this because he is seen as an ‘intellectual giant’. I would like to see him step up and prove some of his own assertions through science, thinking and evidence rather than statements such as calling Christians who believe in evolution ‘Useful idiots’ (I believe that is one of his).

Again, thank you for your good article. Let’s have more challenges to the status quo whether it be religious, atheistic or anything in the middle! The Bible apparently isn’t afraid of cross-examination; let’s see Dawkins join that level of commitment to intellectual honesty!

If you liked (or didn't like) the article for whatever reason, feel free to write to the author at m.bunting@guardian.co.uk

Commenting on Bono & the church

2006-01-07T13:41:00.000-08:00

http://ircontent.blogspot.com/

Recently I've been commenting on this blog. If it's of interest to you to see the traditions of man kicked out of the church, or if Bono was foolish to wear a headband at a recent rock concernt with the word 'COEXIST' written on it using the three symbols of Judaism, Islam and Christianity, then click on the link.

Remember to keep comments educated, clean and point-based.

Felt sick and then it got worse

2006-01-02T10:14:00.000-08:00

There's something worse than feeling sick and being dragged off to watch a very nice movie at the IMAX ... which unfortunately you didn't feel that well before going to.

That something is having been told earlier in the day when asking what people were doing (I didn't feel well ... didn't really want to go out anyway) that someone had to leave and shrugging or whatever (since it's not my house in question it didn't effect me), that when you then ask the person whose supposed to be helping out and sorting that person whose leaving out, have they sorted it so they'l be able to get away by when it was asked that get get away by, they then blow their freaking lid at you, say that it's YOUR idea that the person leave (when it's NOT), say that you are 'used' sexually speaking (when you were married a virgin and are monogamous), saying that you are a lesbian, saying that you are around your parents house (shock gasp) more than anyone else, ever, and saying that it's none of your business, when you're quite happy to keep it that way but it is THEIR business and THEY haven't bothered to sort it out and in fact have gone and only agreed to lift someone else completely different home from Bristol Airport *at the same time*!!!

Naturally, I ended up getting quite cross at this reaction to what was a very reasonable question, something like 'Dad said so and so's meant to like, have been sorted to get home, but what you said just now hinted that you haven't sorted it at all, so what's the deal?'

Hopefully someone else sorted the individual in question out to get home from where my parents live, because HE certainly HASN'T sorted it and clearly can't handle anyone speaking to him about anything concerning this whole thing right now.

However, I don't have to listen to rudeness. Questions are not rude, and reminders are not rude, especially when it wasn't your 'dumb ass rule' in the first place you're reminding about but the owner of the house in question!

New year thoughts

2006-01-01T17:33:00.000-08:00

'Standing alone when within a crowd, looking up and around, just wondering. Is anybody getting this? ANY of this? Does any of it make any sense?'

2005 was a mixed year, but over all on paper it was actually a rather poor one. Highlights were working with Konami and Hothouse Creations, Faith Camp, getting kelly back, improving things with chris, improving myself also, working at the Foyer, Ken wrestling on the same card as Mick Foley performed, working with Entertainmentwise.com and of course, God.

Here's hoping that my 'year of achievement' in 2006 will reign more mightily!

When Christmas goes pear-shaped ...

2005-12-25T14:16:00.000-08:00

Before I write anything else, I know. Compared to many poor folk out there, my Christmas was awesome. And sure, it was pretty good all things considered. I mean, I was not drunk, I was well, I was fed and watered, I got gifts, I spent it with family and I got to go to church and have a lovely time. So what's the deal with the title, then?

The first sign of trouble was brewing weeks ago, when I realised that one - I had very little cash and debts to pay and two, I had to work wierd night shifts right up until Christmas Eve itself, meaning I was asleep during the day and often getting up between 4-6pm, far too sluggish to do any shopping or sorting out. This meant Ken had to take on a lot and I felt that my contribution to the house and other people was lower than the charge I always set myself.

Further more, by Christmas Eve it was painfully obvious to me that I didn't have nearly enough gifts for people. Somehow I scrapped together cards and gifts for most but it felt under done and not a true example of how much I usually like to bless other people this time of year.

For the first year out of the 27 I have lived through, I felt as though the day had snuck up on me and I truely was unprepared.

The stress of still not knowing what is going on with benefits, I have forms to fill out etc ... doesn't help. They seem to make life very difficult for you if you choose to claim whilst trying to get back into work, and they don't also seem to understand nor grasp that a temp job where you get random shifts given to you with never any promise any more will follow, does not mean you can actually come off benefits altogether. The system seems set up for you to either be totally on the state, or totally off it. 'Change of circs'? Hah hah. The new year's gonna herald a lot of fuss and bother for me, and I just bet overpayment hassle.

Finally, at about 7am this morning my phone went off. Sluggishly answering to what I thought was Jazz on his way home from Kent (he was collecting Dana, a girl coming home to England from the US where she'd been living) according to the phone display screen, I found myself talking to Dana herself. She then informed me that Jazz was in hospital in Kent & Sussex (South East England), was sleeping mostly and throwing up badly - very angry indeed. I dispared at once. Apparently he'd not had a drop to drink though, and she thought it must have been the chinese they had. Odd, since Jazz normally won't touch chinese food, or anything 'chinky' as he rather graphically puts it.

Apparently Jazz had started wretching and tried not to throw up at Dana's Mum's place. In the end though he'd started to hurl and then it just wouldn't stop. In the end he started to hyper ventilate so she'd called an ambulence and gone with him. As it currently stands she is staying in with him over night, we don't know when he will be able to come home and both him and his car will need collecting from Kent. This screws up my plans to go with Ken to his parents/my in-laws Boxing Day for a 'second Christmas', and see our nephews etc.

It sounds like it probably wasn't anything he did ... but either way it's not a good Christmas. Being at No 30 felt wierd without Jazz there, however grumpy and gittish he can be when he *is* there.

To top it all off, I got absolutely whacked out after dinner and had to be driven home by my Dad with Ken. Haven't felt so utterly exhausted in a long time, and crashed out on the sofa once I got through the door with a duvet over me. I then slept through most of the rest of the day. Probably the down side of these night shifts, I expect.

So, there you have it. It was great to see my grandparents and the twins, as well as my parents of course. Church was fantastic and good fun. But Jazz's hospitalisation over shadowed the whole event along with my exhaustion due to night shifts, lack of funds this year and general stress relating to employment and stupid benefit forms.

But in all things - praise The LORD. Beautiful One I love, Beautiful One I adore, Beautiful One my soul must sing!

He could have worn a crown, instead He lay one down. My Jesus = Never alone.

Thank you for letting me back into Your life, when I do not deserve it yet again. Thank You for saving me, what can I say.

Christmas amusement

2005-12-24T13:15:00.000-08:00

Hi! I'm millions of years old! --- a rock

2005-12-20T14:24:00.000-08:00

A rant that started on ICQ thinking things over:

The averege guy on the street still thinks we actually have tools that measure stuff to millions of years. That needs changing. Someone just needs to stand up somewhere really important and say 'Look, actually...we can't. We make all that stuff up based around other stuff, it's all stuff pointing to more stuff'.

Today at work someone started talking about how octopus have been around millions of years and I said 'really? They haven't changed much have they, the first fossil octopus look a lot like the ones today'. They agreed and changed the topic. The fact is that the very earliest (going by secular dating methods NOT Biblical ones!) frog fossils look exactly like modern day frogs. Things don't change from their kind. Also things that are dead rot long before they can get covered slowly with sediment and get fossilised after thousands of years of time. Try it yourself at home - fossils are much better made in sudden, catastrophic occurances!

Apparently an atheistic, anti-christian evolutionist switched sides and decided God made more sense of the data. The data. Not because he wanted to believe in a God. Forget his name now but I hope to find it again. I heard about this in a meeting where it was explained that every so often, another scientist switches to belief that the earth shows more signs of catastophic occurance and design than it does being millions of years old and just 'evolving' blindly.

There is a lot more to this topic but it interests me.

Find out if evolution has ever been observed/tested ---http://www.answersingenesis.org/docs/508.asp

'Yes, I've been hearing on Radio 4 today some chap saying that they can'tteach Intelligent Design in schools because that's bringing religion intoschool - teaching Evolution is teaching science. When the interviewer askedwhy they couldn't teach alternative theories alongside each other the chapjust reiterated that one theory was belief and the other was true science -no comparison!!! It was rather annoying to hear such codswallop!' --- Mum

Richard Dork-ins

2005-12-17T14:06:00.000-08:00

‘It is absolutely safe to say that if you meet somebody who claims not to believe in evolution, that person is ignorant, stupid or insane (or wicked, but I’d rather not consider that).’ --- Professor Richard Dawkins of Oxford University

Some people really love to show their true colours, don't they. He truely is a lemon.

Four letters of a thousand words

2005-12-15T17:23:00.000-08:00

What is the word that means happy and sad and mad and frustrated and confused and barbaric and wild and rested and estatic and ellated and dreaming and awake and sliding and dividing and substandard and masterful and exploding and imploding and furious and agressive and peaceful and racing and sexy and strong and dependant and tasty and claustrophobic and dancing and still and thunderous and silent and silky and hard and broken and healed and edgy and falling and grounded and fighting and victorious and splendid and rich and desperate and affirmed and unsure and saved and burning and cool and running and crawling and begging and demanding and ordering and crying and laughing and ...

Are you reading me like I'm reading you,
Are you transmitting on your old frequency?
Hear me loud and clear,
Message understood.
Chain reaction; 'cause we got that chemistry.
Now I'm standing here with your life below,
Eyes are blazing; is this how it's meant to be?
But I'm not afraid 'cause I'm not alone,
Hear you breathe and I feel light inside of me.
Only one way to go when I'm on the outside looking in.
Tell me what I ask to know,
Don't recognise my own reflection when I'm in this state of mind ...

Called LOVE through dominance.

cheat

2005-12-15T13:25:00.000-08:00

http://www.techhouse.us/Forum/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=66682&sid=aa8580ccfff48cb4b329a6dc06e0896d#66682

Read this first. This is written by the guy playing the chars 'BlindingUWscience' and also 'Brraaaaiinsssss', and probably others too.

He is firmly allied against survivors, though as you can see from this link, part of his plan revolves around being a survivor for some of the time.

He is also self-admittedly cheating. His haunt seems to be East Becktown, where PLEB (The Survivor alliance in this area) are aware of his schemes.

If you see his survivor, kill it and dump it outside. Report this to the room and why you did it. I am sure he will tire of cheating in this way once he realises he cannot get any XP.

Why I delete non intellectual comments

2005-12-14T21:40:00.000-08:00

Recently a few people have tried to add inflamatory, non intellectual and rather childish comments to my blog because I hold to views that do not coincide with their own. These views are clearly stated and are not in the slightest bit bigotted if anyone actually bothered to read them wholly, rather than just posting their little rant.

A bigot is not someone who doesn't agree with something that other people do agree with. Learn before you chuck words around. We should all do that.

Finally, I speak from experience. What ahorribly dirty word that must be to hear for some, the idea that someone might, from amongst them, actually disagree. Shock and horror. But it's happened. It's called being objective, studying and choosing to look at things in a non secular format.

If anyone wishes to post a disagreement to one of my blogs, please feel free to do so but there are a few rules. One, no cussing or rude language. If I want that I'll go find a playground and listen to children. Two, back up what you are saying and stick to specific points. Finally three, no emotive, blanket shouting such as 'You are so wrong!' Say why, and say it calmly.

We can all disagree, but we do not have to be disagreeable doing it. I thank you.

To be read by all coming to the Posse Party

2005-12-14T16:29:00.000-08:00

Having spoken to a couple of ppl, I thought instead of donning rosy specs, I would err on the side of caution and circulate a reminder before we gather this NYE. This is a polite but firm request from your friend who is trying to organise everyone and everything, so please take it in the spirit of celebration & relaxation for all, and NOT as some soap box thing. --- Thanks :)

I know it’s obvious to probably everyone, but if everyone can just bare in mind the following lame reminder in case someone messes up or forgets: Smoking is properly outside only, not in the doorways.
**Any drugs** are not to be brought in or used anywhere on the premises (if any friends of friends wander in, we may need to point this out, I don’t want anyone inside who is carrying any drugs or anyone taking them in the yard). This includes grass or any recreational drug.
Drinking is fine so long as you are over 18 and not off your face and responsible about it (and also not selfish). In the unlikely event that an under 18 is there, they can drink a little if they’re over 16 like a toast etc, but I won’t have any kids getting plastered. Any under 16 if there are, sorry – none. I am not that liberal.
Please try to bring something or give some cash to those going to Asda on the day. Don’t leave it to three ppl to buy all the drinks and snacks. Most of us are hard up, but only the genuine charity cases should come begging. Plan NOW and keep some Christmas dosh back if in doubt.
Last but not least, in the very VERY unlikely event that there are any fractions, frictions or plain stupidity from anyone, this is what I want to see and DON’T want to see:

a) I do NOT want to see people getting drunk and verbally attacking (swearing at etc) other ppl. If you can’t handle your drink, don’t drink it.

b) If anyone behaves badly, I do NOT want to see someone playing the bitter, hard ass Judge Dredd and deciding it is their responsibility to humiliate the foolish person by beating them up or otherwise wrestling with them. In the past a few ppl have seemed to enjoy the thought of getting to exercise restraint and that attitude is unhealthy and unwelcome.

c) If you are at the slightly more young/hyper/fun loving end of the part scale – Remember that not everyone else is having such a great time as you are and may be feeling bitter or generally grouchy/moody etc. DO NOT taunt or otherwise act like an annoying, flapping, singing prat around anyone who is clearly not reciprocating the party flavour. Respect their right to a bit of peace and quiet and leave them alone.

d) If you are at the slightly more elder/grouchy/sit-back-and-cling-to-bottle end of the party scale – Remember that this is a NYE party. The very essence means that ppl will be acting a bit Leary and having a general good time. Accept this, try to enjoy it but if you really can’t for some reason, do NOT take it out on those who are having fun. If someone fails to not be annoying, don’t threaten them, clobber them or otherwise act like Batman. If it’s really that bad, remove yourself and have someone else remove them – don’t get into a situation where your temper gets the better of you. I do not want to have to separate people.

e) If the above fails and anyone does cause friction with anyone else and others notice – Please immediately before it gets worse can responsible and calm, ‘not taking sides’ persons interject themselves and remove one or both parties quickly and quietly away. At the absolute most, restrain them. I will not tolerate anyone going cop or ‘hard boy’ on anyone else. If party goers annoy you, don’t be at a party where they are bound to be.

That’s it. Most if not all of it is totally known I know … but so that you guys know what I expect in case you see anything else going on, there it is. We’re all into a great time but some ppl’s idea of a great time is different from someone else’s. Try to keep everyone generally together though and not get too clique; keep both rooms used and we should be fine. I like to make sure I have covered every eventuality before the event though.

Anything else goes! Sushi, dresses, stupid shirts, video cameras, lame music, wine etc, cake making, attempts to play poker, or coming as an ex/alt Street Fighter/KoF version of yourself (speak to 'Divefire' about this one!).

Ake Green acquitted of hate speech by Sweden’s highest court

2005-12-13T16:38:00.000-08:00

A precedent-setting verdict, upholding freedom of speech and religion, was issued on Tuesday 29 November by the Swedish Supreme Court (SSC). In a unanimous decision Sweden’s highest court acquitted Pastor Ake Green of charges of ‘hate speech’ arising from a sermon he preached in July 2003 denouncing homosexual behaviours.

Green was initially convicted under Sweden’s new hate crimes law, enacted in 2003, which makes illegal any expressions of “disrespect” or “incitement” “towards a group of people,” including groups with “sexual inclinations.” Up to two years in prison is the normal penalty under the law, but if a statement against any particular group is “especially threatening or disrespectful” or “disseminated to a large number of persons,” the crime is considered “major” and the perpetrator can be subject to up to four years in prison.

Green had been convicted and sentenced by a lower court in 2004. It was claimed by some that that he had referred to homosexuals in a disrespectful way, but Green explained to the courts that he was referring to homosexual acts, not persons. Green said at his Supreme Court hearing November 9. “I don't take back what I said. I still think we should be able to voice our convictions without ending up in jail and if that happens I will be showing how ridiculous things have got.”

In a 16-page ruling the Supreme Court said his sermon was protected by freedom of speech and religion under the European Convention on Human Rights. "We are obliged to consider the European Convention on Human Rights and the way in which the convention has been applied by the European Court of Justice," Supreme Court Justice Johan Munck said. "We believe that it is probable that a conviction against Pastor Green would not hold up in the European Court of Justice."

The decision to acquit Pastor Green is very positive, setting a standard for the right to religious freedom and right to freedom of expression. Pastor Green said he was now free to preach the word of God, and the decision was a relief both for him and other preachers.

Andrea Minichiello Williams, Public Policy Officer for the Lawyers’ Christian Fellowship (LCF), commented ‘This decision sets a precedent and it is a very significant victory for freedom of speech and freedom of religion.’

A link to a transcript of Ake Green's sermon can be found at www.akegreen.org

Do you think it's ok to behave in a Gay / Lesbian way sexually?

2005-12-13T15:54:00.000-08:00

No, and here's why (a cut from my personal web site).

[ Before commenting on this post, please read http://leozak.blogspot.com/2005/12/why-i-delete-non-intellectual-comments.html . Offensive comments will not get through]

The Biblical scriptures that are part of the reason I do not believe it is ok to follow through on homosexual tendencies are the following: Genesis 19; Leviticus 18:22; Romans 1:26–27; 1 Corinthians 6:9; 1 Timothy 1:10. Three of these are New Testament and two are old. There are other verses that I am not familiar enough with to quote here.

All of the churches currently really seeing God move in real and powerful, wonderful ways hold to the Biblical standard that sex is for marriage only and marriage is one man and one woman, for life. This is evidence from 2005, not from 'ages ago', not that something being old somehow makes it less relevant anyway.

It is not discriminatory especially against any people group because in the Bible, any sexual temptations that were outside of this boundary set by God for the good of His people, were treated exactly the same way - that is they were said to be wrong by God Himself. The church didn't decide to add this later, and the fact that Christians, like everybody else sin, is no reason to say it doesn't count. Priests sin. Pastors sin. Everybody sins and some sins are sexual. Does that mean we give up? No.

Personally, I think that there are many different sexual 'leanings' and tendencies amongst humankind, but that this doesn't change what God tells us to do. Now, quite obviously just as in Biblical times, if a nation or person is anti-God, then they aren't going to care what His word says and are going to go with whatever feels right for them.

This is why I don't hate on people who fall into this category and go with their sexual tendency due to their fallen nature which we all have, which may be various temptations but for some, homosexual temptations may be stronger than in others and some may not have it at all.

Do I think people are 'born gay'? No, I do not. There is no gay gene. I do believe though that some people as they grow up become more susceptible to certain sexual ideas than others, and that for them it may certainly feel as though they are only able to be thrilled with same sex partners.

However, there is a wide body of ex-homosexuals of both sexes out there, living heterosexually through choice, that proves it is not only possible, but probable. This revolts some folk but I am sorry, it happens to be my view based on real experience in the real world.

I don't hate anyone, but I have this viewpoint. I have had gay friends and will in the future I am sure. But that doesn't mean I have to agree that their sexual lifestyle is appropriate in the eyes of God, who I believe in based on evidence. I also speak from a certain volume of experience personally on this issue.

Space boots MkIII & Ignite party

2005-12-13T10:58:00.000-08:00

I bought a new pair of indoor 'space-boot' slippers today. They are like suede and soft and lovely like lion's fur, inside. The bottoms were falling off my old ones, so I needed them. Only £8. They are lovely!

Tonight is the Ignite Christmas party and my secret santa is Siobahn. Heh. My present is so crappy but there again ... it's not wrapped. How embarrasing, I think I'll wrap it in a carrier bag.

Eddie Guerrero laid to rest

2005-11-18T20:45:00.001-08:00

Nov. 18, 2005

Eddie Guerrero was laid to rest yesterday in Scottsdale, Ariz.

Eddie moved his family to Phoenix a few weeks ago so he could be closer to his mother and sister Linda. The private ceremony was presided over by family friend “Superstar” Billy Graham. Several current and former WWE Superstars were in attendance. Chris Jericho, John Layfield, Dean Malenko, Vince McMahon, Chris Benoit, Tom Pritchard and Chavo Guerrero, Jr. all spoke in remembrance of Eddie.

The highly emotional ceremony celebrated the life of Eddie Guerrero, remembering exactly how loving, caring and humble he was.

Vickie Guerrero speaks on Eddie's autopsy report

2005-11-16T21:47:00.000-08:00

Nov. 15, 2005

After the untimely passing of Eddie Guerrero, WWE and the entire sports-entertainment community is still reeling from the devastating loss of a champion. The initial autopsy reports on Guerrero have come in. WWE.com spoke with Eddie’s widow, Vickie Guerrero, earlier today.

“It was heart failure. It was from his past – the drinking and the drug abuse. They found signs of heart disease. She (the examiner) said that the blood vessels were very worn and narrow, and that just showed all the abuse from the scheduling of work and his past. And Eddie just worked out like crazy all the time. It made his heart grow bigger and work harder and the vessels were getting smaller, and that’s what caused the heart failure. He went into a deep sleep.

As soon as they saw his heart, they saw the lining of his heart already had the heart disease. There was no trauma, and Eddie hadn’t hurt himself in any way. It answered a lot of questions. I knew Eddie wasn’t feeling very good for the last week. He was home and kept saying he wasn’t feeling good and we thought it was just “road tired.” So we thought he just had to rest. It answered a lot of my questions, too, because he was just so exhausted. She said it was normal because the heart was working so hard.

When he didn’t call me last night and the night before I knew it was for real, because he would call me every night. I miss his phone calls. I cried through the whole thing (last night).

I loved his laugh. His laugh was the best.

We just celebrated his four-year sobriety last Thursday. We just thought we had life by the handful. We thought we had it all figured out. He worked so hard to make a better life for us.

I’m just overwhelmed by how people are coming out. It’s touched my heart a lot.
Everybody was just in awe last night in how beautifully everything was put together.

All my life was wrestling. All he did was take care of them and live for that. And I don’t know what to do now.”

Some thoughts on relativism / absolutes

2005-11-15T12:44:00.000-08:00

Are you reading this right now? RIGHT now. Not at any other point in time, but right this second are your eyes casting across this word >>>HERE<<< ?

If you can answer yes to that question, what you have just done is define and acknowledge an absolute truth in reality. Really, in the real world, you did something at an exact moment which happened neither at any other time or in any other fashion to the way in which it actually happened. You actually read the word 'here', at the exact second in which you read it, and everything was as it actually was, as you read it. It happened no other way. That is how time and space collided in that instant, and that instant occured. That is fact, truth and logical. You experienced it and possibly witnesses did too. You can also do controlled tests to see if similar events can be reproduced with measurable constance (for example, you could read it again). So ... what?

Let me give a few points, here. If Bristol City score a goal against Bristol Rovers, then for the goal scorer, the rest of the City team, , the fans of City and their Manager - this is a good thing. However, from the point of view of Bristol Rovers and their fans? It's a set back and a bad thing. This is what is known as a relative truth; it can be shown in controlled tests to be relative to one's cultural point of view (for example, you can test the brain responses in a City fan and a Rovers fan to see if a Rovers fan will ever think City scoring is exciting or good). To a person who supports neither team or maybe doesn't even like football, the result could matter not one iota, or the goal could be purely judged on footballing skill.

However, apply this to the first example. Then also consider this - The number 8 bus arrives at the bus stop on time, at exactly 8:00am GMT by the atomic clock. There are two people waiting for the bus at this stop, and both have exactly timed watches showing this bus is here at 8am, though they are not checking them all the time.

They board the bus. Later someone asks them if the bus was on time. One says yes it was indeed on time. The other states that it was not on time, because that is his perception, he felt the bus was one minute late. Neither can prove this because they didn't check their watches as they boarded.

Now, it is absolutely true that the bus did in fact arrive at 8am. This is what took place, in reality. The bus did not arrive at the stop at 7:59am, or 8:01am. It arrived at 8:00am, reguardless of the man's perception on the kerb. It was there exactly when it was there, and an external police CCTV camera can verify to the milisecond that it was indeed, on time.

So then, the bus stopping when it did is an absolute truth, an absolute occurance in space and time, that we can test and repeat with consistant, logically deductable results (if we get the bus to pull up again at 8am exactly, it will be there at 8am).

This may sound logical and obvious - almost absurd to state thus. The issue here is with relativism and absolutes. According to the relativist, absolutes do not occur nor exist - that is the technical definition and the correct position description. I personally know of no relativsist who actually lives this way though; they expect predictable actions such as a toaster to pop up with cooked bread after use, water to flow through their toilet after they pull the handle and people to be angry if they shout 'screw you!' across the street at them.

The trouble then arises when debating 'is there such a thing as absolute truths in the world?' with them.

If you say there isn't, for a start, you are asserting an absolute right there and then. Secondly and as we've just seen, there are clearly demonstratable and repeatable absolute truths in reality, that correspond to testing.

There is a counter. If blue is only blue to you and it's red to me, what we're arguing about is a point of view. But this also cannot work as a moral argument for things like 'killing or stealing is wrong'. You see, in reality the counter is 'a colour'. What we decide to call that colour is up to us, but it is in actual fact, a specific colour. Every object has a set of attributes at any given nanosecond in time, and whatever those are, they are true. The counter cannot be both literally blue and red at the same time, it can be a colour that I call blue and you call red, however. But this can be tested with science, the properties of the counter measured without the use of the iris, either mine or yours. We can know the counter using instruments.

There is a human being. He is not literally you, and literally me at the same time. Someone might mistake you for me ... we may even look alike or have very similar traits. But I am testably me, and you are testably you. In time and space, we are not the same person.

Perception seems to be the only place where relativism actually works out. What is truth for me is not truth for you? Back to the goal experiment - if I am a City fan and you're a Rovers fan, it's true for me that the goal scored by City against Rovers was a good thing. It's true for you that the goal scored was a bad thing. But, this is a relative truth. Absolutes as shown above, are different. They are not merely points of view based on cultural, social or personal variations, however tiny (chaos theroy - butterly effect etc).

So, whilst Relativism does work for certain truths (Relative Truths), it doesn't work whatsoever for absolute truths.

The Relativist will argue there is no such thing as an absolute truth. However, science shows this to be wrong. The tests above clearly show that logically, mathamatically and scientifically (all free from propaganda or opinion, because they can be repeated in controlled environments and they won't change), some things at any given second in time, are so and are not subject to a point of view from anyone. For example, the sun rises and sets at different points to the position of a human watching on the earth, but what never changes is the measurements of the sun (Sol), it's heat, it's mass, diametre, position in space and many other measurable, testable attributes. The sun literally exists and it literally is what it is. This is not based on opinion or the perspective of a human on earth - or any creature anywhere in the universe for that matter.

There are absolute truths. These can be measured. Other truths are relative and the difference between the two is fairly obvious to anyone who wants to know.

Therefore, true Relativism cannot be a workable method for deciding truth or one's path through philosophy. It can shed light onto certain areas which are cultural and arguable to a point, but where absolutes are concerned, it renders nothing but rather ridiculous-sounding arguments like 'I was here, but I also wasn't here'.

R.I.P Eddie Guerrero - 1967 - 13/11/2005

2005-11-14T01:43:00.000-08:00

The storied career of Eddie Guerrero

Eddie Guerrero was born into Mexico’s first family of professional wrestling in 1967. The son of the legendary Gory Guerrero, it was only natural that Eddie, along with his three older brothers, would pursue a career in sports-entertainment. With wrestling flowing through his veins, Eddie began his in-ring training at a very young age. In fact, Guerrero had mastered the dropkick by his third birthday.

Eddie moved from his family’s backyard ring to the professional circuit in 1987 when he debuted as “Mascara Magica” or “Magic Mask” in Mexico. After teaming with his brothers, Guerrero broke out on his own, crafting his skills in the lucha libre world. Eddie then moved on to Japan, wrestling as Black Tiger. It was there that Guerrero first met good friend Chris Benoit.

After moving back to Mexico full time, Eddie began teaming with El Hijo del Santo, who was the son of Gory Guerrero’s long-time associate El Santo. Eddie and Santo eventually broke up, with Eddie forming a duo with Art Barr. The pair would feud with Santo in one of the most heated rivalries in lucha libre history, which culminated in Guerrero and Barr losing a hair vs. mask match to Santo and Octagon in November 1994.

Eddie then moved on to ECW, where he gained his first full exposure in the United States. Not long after his ECW debut, Guerrero defeated 2 Cold Scorpio for the ECW Television Championship, a title he held twice before moving to WCW. Guerrero's ECW stay will always be remembered for the amazing match he had with Dean Malenko before leaving the promotion. After the match, which many consider to be one of the greatest ECW matches ever, the crowd showed their appreciation for Guerrero by giving him a standing ovation.

Guerrero spent four years competing in WCW. While there, he was a part of numerous memorable rivalries with the likes of Booker T, Rey Mysterio, Dean Malenko, Ric Flair and nephew Chavo.

On Dec. 29, 1996, Guerrero defeated Diamond Dallas Page in the finals of a tournament to crown a new United States Champion. He also went on to capture the Cruiserweight Championship on two separate occasions before leaving WCW.

On Jan. 31, 2000, four new faces showed up on Monday Night RAW and shocked the sports-entertainment world. They were former WCW wrestlers Benoit, Malenko, Perry Saturn and Eddie Guerrero – The Radicalz. The faction immediately got involved in a match between the New Age Outlaws and Al Snow & Steve Blackman, marking the beginning of Guerrero’s amazing WWE career.

Over the next five years, Eddie Guerrero overcame many obstacles to reach the top. In his first WWE match against the Outlaws, Eddie suffered a dislocated elbow, but returned to action in a short time. On April 3, 2000, he claimed his first piece of WWE gold, defeating Chris Jericho to win the European Championship. He would go on to win that championship one more time in 2001.

After The Radicalz went their separate ways, Eddie began a relationship with his “Mamacita,” Chyna. In fact, it was Chyna that Eddie defeated in September 2000 to claim the Intercontinental Championship. After their split, Eddie’s demons got the best of him. He subsequently took time off from the ring in 2001 to deal with his personal issues.

Upon his return in 2002, Eddie’s career skyrocketed to new heights. He won the Intercontinental Championship again in May 2002, this time from Rob Van Dam. Eventually, Eddie moved to SmackDown where he teamed with nephew Chavo to capture the WWE Tag Team Championship. He would win that championship three more times, as well as the United States Championship, but his greatest moment came in February 2004.

On Feb. 15, 2004 in San Francisco, Guerrero defeated Brock Lesnar at No Way Out to become WWE Champion. He had reached the pinnacle of the industry, and went on to headline WrestleMania XX against Kurt Angle. No one will ever forget the scene at the end of the show, when Eddie joined long-time friend Benoit in the ring to celebrate moments after Benoit won the World Heavyweight Championship.

Eddie later formed an alliance with another old friend, Rey Mysterio, and the duo would win the WWE Tag Team Championship in early 2005. This was Eddie’s final run as a champion, as the duo split up after WrestleMania 21 and began a bitter rivalry, highlighted by numerous breath-taking matches.

At No Mercy on Oct. 9, 2005, Eddie’s 38th birthday, Eddie squared off against a new amigo, Batista. He was unable to win the World Heavyweight Championship from the Animal, but their friendship was cemented when Batista led the crowd in singing Happy Birthday to Latino Heat afterwards. A little more than one month later, Guerrero competed in his final televised match on the Nov. 11 edition of Friday Night SmackDown where he defeated Mr. Kennedy.

It's a quote someone wrote

2005-11-13T13:21:00.000-08:00

'Education without character, Pleasure without conscience, Politics without principals'

An MP said this, recently. He was talking about the current state of the policy of our Government here in the UK.

Of course, not everyone agrees. But there again, if you care to disagree? You should do so with an arugement to show that man's view is false. Simply saying 'no' isn't an argument - it's a rant. That's what blogs like this are for, though, which is why so many folks write these, I guess!

Encourage one another

2005-11-07T02:16:00.000-08:00

Read a really old, family Bible today with my Grandma. She said it made her cheerful to see me and talk to 'a christian' for a change!

I was able to discuss scriptures and their meanings, too. I enjoy talking to her as she's got so many fascinating stories to tell. Though, I always feel bad because she gets out cakes and fruit and makes me tea and I pretty much can't say no!

All in all, a 'fruitful' day.

What if relativism were true? [An illustration]

2005-11-07T01:37:00.000-08:00

What if relativism were true? An illustration.

Relativism is the position that all points of view are as valid and as any other points of view and that the individual is the measure of what is true for that person. I see a big problem with this. Following is an illustration to demonstrate it.

The setting: A thief is casing a jewelry store so he can rob it. He has entered it to check out any visible alarm settings, locks, layout, etc. In the process, he has unexpectedly gotten involved in a discussion with the owner of the jewelry store whose hobby is the study of philosophy and believes that truth and morals are relative.

"So," says the owner, "everything is relative. That is why I believe that all morals are not absolute and that right and wrong is up to the individual to determine within the confines of society. But there is no absolute right and wrong."

"That is a very interesting perspective," says the thief. "I was brought up believing that there was a God and that there was right and wrong. But I abandoned all of that and I agree with you that there is no absolute right and wrong and that we are free to do what we want."

The thief leaves the store and returns that evening and breaks in. He has disabled all the alarms and locks and is in the process of robbing the store. That is when the owner of the store enters through a side door. The thief pulls out a gun. The owner cannot see the man's face because he is wearing a ski mask. "Don't shoot me," says the owner. "Please take whatever you want and leave me alone."

"That is exactly what I plan to do," says the thief.

"Wait a minute. I know you. You are the man that was in the store earlier today. I recognize your voice."

"That is very unfortunate for you," says the thief. "Because now you also know what I look like. And since I do not want to go to jail I am forced to kill you."
"You cannot do that," says the owner.

"Why not?"

"Because it is not right," pleads the desperate man.

"But did you not tell me today that there is no right and wrong?"

"Yes, but I have a family, children, that need me, and a wife."

"So? I am sure that you are insured and that they will get a lot of money. But since there is no right and wrong it makes no difference whether or not I kill you. And since if I let you live you will turn me in and I will go to prison. Sorry , but that will not do."

"But it is a crime against society to kill me. It is wrong because society says so."

"As you can see, I don't recognize society's claim to impose morals on me. It's all relative. Remember?"

"Please do not shoot me. I beg you. I promise not to tell anyone what you look like. I swear it!"

"I do not believe you and I cannot take that chance."

"But it is true! I swear I'll tell no one."

"Sorry, but it cannot be true because there is no absolute truth, no right and wrong, no error, remember? If I let you live and then I left, you will break your so-called promise because it is all relative. There is no way I could trust you. Our conversation this morning convinced me that you believe everything is relative. Because of that, I cannot believe you will keep your word. I cannot trust you."

"But it is wrong to kill me. It isn't right!"

"It is neither right or wrong for me to kill you. Since truth is relative to the individual, if I kill you, that is my truth. And, it is obviously true that if I let you live I will go to prison. Sorry, but you have killed yourself."

"No. Please do not shoot me. I beg you."

"Begging makes no difference."

.... Bang....

If relativism is true, then was it wrong to pull the trigger? Perhaps someone might say that it is wrong to take another life needlessly. But why is that wrong, if there is no standard of right or wrong? Others have said that it is a crime against society. But, so what? If what is true for you is simply true, then what is wrong with killing someone to protect yourself after you have robbed him? If is true for you that to protect yourself you must kill, then who cares what society says? Why is anyone obligated to conform to social norms? Doing so is a personal decision.

Though not all relativists will behave in an unethical manner, I see relativism as a contributor to overall anarchy. Why? Because it is a justification to do whatever you want.

[This has been borrowed from carm dot org]