A polite reminder of house status

I haven't needed to do this for a while, but some folk have been slipping, so can I politely remind all and sundry of the following, very basic 'rules' or status of my house:

1. It is open at any time to the truely needy or in trouble. If you need to rest or sleep the night, if you need food, council or water in an emergency, then come here. This house belongs to God I'm just the steward. Abuse of this openess however will be spotted and obviously NOT catered for.

2. Cursing, swearing, cussing - whatever you want to call it, are ALL unwelcome in my house. Crude language is included. Please keep it to yourself. It DOES offend me, even if I am too polite to say so.

3. There is NO smoking anywhere in my house. If you want to smoke outside, that's fine but please dispose responsibly of your ash/butts/packs, etc. Please also do not stand in the doorway or near a window as it may waft in and scent the curtains.

4. There is NO getting drunk in the house. You know your limits, please respect mine. Mine is you don't reach yours. This equally applies to turning UP wasted, that is a no no as well (unless you need prayer/ministry). I would personally prefer it if under 18s didn't drink whilst under my roof, but if you can do so in moderation, I am prepared to allow it. Also please do not take any alcoholic drinks without asking first - we're not exactly rolling in it :)

5. NO drugs, of ANY SORT, to be brought into or used in my house, anywhere. Including the garden. I do not want pot smoking in the garden either, if you want to do that, please go right out the front and do it way away from the house. The only exception to this rule is those here for ministry reasons, and even then if you have drugs I shall probably ask you to take a walk with me.

That's basically it. All else is smaller time stuff. This stuff however is really important.