Tunnel of agony

Words streaming down my face,
and into my heart.
My ears must be wrong.
I deny my ears; they lie.
Anger, hatred, desperation, clinging.
I will fight, fight for what is mine.
Surely there is something I can do!

Everything hurts, everything aches.
My mind is rent down the middle,
and I cannot think or plan a single action.

I cry, I moan.
I scream and I hit things.
LIAR! THIEF!
DECEPTION is evil.

I will fight. I will save my hero.
In every way he needs to be saved.

My love burns. I fight.
We seem to find a standing space in the chaos.

Then I have to go.
He says it's fine.
He is going too, for a while.
I trust, I choose to believe.

When I return, he's gone.
Again, I am sick.
I cannot tell anybody.
It's probably nothing, and yet I find clues.
I ache.
Desperate just to hear his voice,
just to know he is all right,
that he is content,
that he is coming home.
And when.

Just waiting, waiting.
Adrenalin spurting, every thought knifes back to the beginning.
The first few words, then the sickness comes.
I think I am going to be sick.
There is a bomb in my gullet.

Just one word, my darling.

Just one.