I just wanna' say ...

How often do we listen to something that makes us feel ...

Like we don't agree.
Like we need to sort something out.
Like something may need to change.
Like our worldview needs a new porthole carved in it?

If we're honest? Probably not too much.

I think everyone should be free to make their own desicion about what they believe about anything. But that doesn't mean I agree with therefore quashing what we consider to be old, boring or not true for us. Trouble is, we knee jerk a lot and I think we also throw the baby out with the proverbial bathwater.

I don't often talk much about my own personal life, especially on a blog like this (because hey - everybody can see it). I could lose friends, upset someone etc. I might even get hate mail.

But if my own life is a lie, then I guess hate can't make that worse. As it happens, I don't think my life is all a lie. I think it's as valid as anyone else's, and the same vice versa.

What I want to say right now is that simply, I've been healed in my life. By that I mean that stuff that was wrong with me, that couldn't be medically cured or taken away and wasn't being treated at all, was spontaneously removed in a tiny window of time in a specific situation where I stepped up and tried something - and it worked.

The details are not so interesting really - there are levels to how much I can prove it after all. But you got to ask yourself, why would I knowingly lie about it and build my life around it? That's a pretty serious accusation to level at anyone, especially a friend or someone you've worked with.

In short, I have been sick and unhappy most of my life due to something that finally in 2001 was diagnosed by a Harley St Doctor and also my home Doctor in Bristol. They agreed and diagnosed M.E/CFS or a similar condition (that's a Doctor's out for 'there's stuff about your condition we don't even understand').

I have also had serious issues with my monthly cycle and female internals. Both on seperate occasions were removed within the space of about a minute, have never troubled me since, and took place without anyone laying a single hand on me.

All I did was I called God for who the Bible says He is, who He claims to be. The most high God, the awesome creator of everything we're living in and enjoying today, our Father and our friend, our Lord and the only one who was able to forgive us for all the bad stuff we've done, because only He was perfect Himself. When I did this and stuck my fist into the air, dared to believe and trust in this God, He healed me head to toe.

I felt this warmth running through my body. It was like watery electrical energy and supernatural. It only happened when I tried God, nothing else worked. I tried personal will power, mind over matter, religion, chi, martial arts, etc. Only this God healed me. Twice. The second occasion, an older man was in this place I was at and he spoke out and said 'there's someone here, a woman - and right now God is healing your womb area'. That was when it happened for that second time, and again nobody touched me.

I just wanted to share that, because I don't actually think that many people know this about me. They don't know that aged early 20s, I found out that my entire life was going to be over, that not only would I probably never be able to have children but I wouldn't be able to work. I lost a high flying, central London radio station position and went home to Bristol facing a life on benefits, childless and unable to support myself.

In July 2001, a rebellious natured young person that some call Kim Kaze stuck her fist into the air. In a tent filled with 400-500 young people, she stood alone to one side and kicked back her chair. She started calling out to God and claiming that His promises in the Bible, if He was really true and really God, were for her like He promised in there.

And she was healed. Made well. Not only that, but she matured. She has grown. Now she has a Husband, a house and a car, more than one job, a church community who love and encourage her, friends from all walks of life who are there for her and she has a passionate love for Jesus, what He's done in her life and the massive, all out, full on LOVE that He's put inside of her previously viscious, hard heart.

Jesus has given me LIFE, and life in all its fullness. He's left absolutely nothing out - I love my life and not because I am arrogant, but because I can't stop being amazed by the lives that God touches through even this tiny, little speck of reality that is the one they call ...

Kim Kaze. A Destron saved by grace, and what an amazing grace! :)

Thanks for listening to my heart.

I pray that something of the God who hugs and holds me touches you and brings peace, joy, love and knowledge of certain forgiveness into your life. If you know you need to know that your past is forgiven, drop me a line if you want, sometime.