You've played too much Urban Dead when ...

The long-promised, simple little thing ...

You know you've played too much Urban Dead when:

1. You start to refer to things by only the first letter of what they're called, so a yob would be a Y, a child a C, an adult an A, a mosher a M, etc.

2. When logging into any other game, web site or playing a board game, you start getting nervous after taking several moves or looking at several web pages, for fear you might hit the 'server hit limit'.

3. When walking down the street, you assess passing houses for the most easy ones to access should there be a sudden zombie outbreak.

4. Someone picks a fight with you. Swinging blows, you frequently miss completely, then inexplicably pummel them all in a long row of 'lucky hits'.

5. Anyone whose name has the letter Z in it you start to eye suspiciously. Surely they are just being human for a while to aquire some 'human skills'? They're on the side of the zombies, really. It's so obvious.

6. You tell people that 'PK' no longer stands for 'Parkour'. In fact, it stands for 'Player Killing'. A 'PKer' is a bad thing, not a good thing!

7. People who stack chairs rather high in any venue such as a church at the end of a meeting, you harras and accuse them of 'over barricading'.

8. You do not speak very often at all. Speaking uses AP.

9. You type short and very scarce messages over IM systems such as ICQ or MSN. Speaking through typing definately uses AP!

10. Upon finding a locked church door, you become very confused and wander around, unsure of what's happened.

11. Beer or wine makes you better if you're sick or have a wound. Yes it does. Really.

12. Someone standing around outside a house or a building is 'obviously waiting for a chance to attack the barricades'. They must be stopped, and now.

13. Sticking a plaster to someone else might make you more experienced in life. You therefore raid the cupboards and start sticking. People complain. They must be zombie sympathisers so therefore you throw them outside and start barricading the doors. But not *too high*.

14. If someone is lying on the ground inside a place or house, you quickly toss their body out onto the street. If they sit up inside, that's bad news for everyone!

15. Whilst reading most books is pointless to you, reading poetry is exceptionally pointless, because it does nothing at all!

16. When in a Mall, you stick to one corner most of the time and try to loot stores. When approached by the security guards, you try to flee by using 'free running' out of the mall and into near by buildings.

17. And finally ... you start to hang around only in Pubs which are called 'the something arms'. Whilst there, you glance around in the hope that a shotgun or some shotgun shells might be found. If you can't see or find any, you moan to everyone else in the pub that 'search rates are an utter farce and you don't know why anyone puts up with this crap'.

I hope someone got a five second chuckle, anyway.