When Christmas goes pear-shaped ...

Before I write anything else, I know. Compared to many poor folk out there, my Christmas was awesome. And sure, it was pretty good all things considered. I mean, I was not drunk, I was well, I was fed and watered, I got gifts, I spent it with family and I got to go to church and have a lovely time. So what's the deal with the title, then?

The first sign of trouble was brewing weeks ago, when I realised that one - I had very little cash and debts to pay and two, I had to work wierd night shifts right up until Christmas Eve itself, meaning I was asleep during the day and often getting up between 4-6pm, far too sluggish to do any shopping or sorting out. This meant Ken had to take on a lot and I felt that my contribution to the house and other people was lower than the charge I always set myself.

Further more, by Christmas Eve it was painfully obvious to me that I didn't have nearly enough gifts for people. Somehow I scrapped together cards and gifts for most but it felt under done and not a true example of how much I usually like to bless other people this time of year.

For the first year out of the 27 I have lived through, I felt as though the day had snuck up on me and I truely was unprepared.

The stress of still not knowing what is going on with benefits, I have forms to fill out etc ... doesn't help. They seem to make life very difficult for you if you choose to claim whilst trying to get back into work, and they don't also seem to understand nor grasp that a temp job where you get random shifts given to you with never any promise any more will follow, does not mean you can actually come off benefits altogether. The system seems set up for you to either be totally on the state, or totally off it. 'Change of circs'? Hah hah. The new year's gonna herald a lot of fuss and bother for me, and I just bet overpayment hassle.

Finally, at about 7am this morning my phone went off. Sluggishly answering to what I thought was Jazz on his way home from Kent (he was collecting Dana, a girl coming home to England from the US where she'd been living) according to the phone display screen, I found myself talking to Dana herself. She then informed me that Jazz was in hospital in Kent & Sussex (South East England), was sleeping mostly and throwing up badly - very angry indeed. I dispared at once. Apparently he'd not had a drop to drink though, and she thought it must have been the chinese they had. Odd, since Jazz normally won't touch chinese food, or anything 'chinky' as he rather graphically puts it.

Apparently Jazz had started wretching and tried not to throw up at Dana's Mum's place. In the end though he'd started to hurl and then it just wouldn't stop. In the end he started to hyper ventilate so she'd called an ambulence and gone with him. As it currently stands she is staying in with him over night, we don't know when he will be able to come home and both him and his car will need collecting from Kent. This screws up my plans to go with Ken to his parents/my in-laws Boxing Day for a 'second Christmas', and see our nephews etc.

It sounds like it probably wasn't anything he did ... but either way it's not a good Christmas. Being at No 30 felt wierd without Jazz there, however grumpy and gittish he can be when he *is* there.

To top it all off, I got absolutely whacked out after dinner and had to be driven home by my Dad with Ken. Haven't felt so utterly exhausted in a long time, and crashed out on the sofa once I got through the door with a duvet over me. I then slept through most of the rest of the day. Probably the down side of these night shifts, I expect.

So, there you have it. It was great to see my grandparents and the twins, as well as my parents of course. Church was fantastic and good fun. But Jazz's hospitalisation over shadowed the whole event along with my exhaustion due to night shifts, lack of funds this year and general stress relating to employment and stupid benefit forms.

But in all things - praise The LORD. Beautiful One I love, Beautiful One I adore, Beautiful One my soul must sing!

He could have worn a crown, instead He lay one down. My Jesus = Never alone.

Thank you for letting me back into Your life, when I do not deserve it yet again. Thank You for saving me, what can I say.

Christmas amusement

Hi! I'm millions of years old! --- a rock

A rant that started on ICQ thinking things over:

The averege guy on the street still thinks we actually have tools that measure stuff to millions of years. That needs changing. Someone just needs to stand up somewhere really important and say 'Look, actually...we can't. We make all that stuff up based around other stuff, it's all stuff pointing to more stuff'.

Today at work someone started talking about how octopus have been around millions of years and I said 'really? They haven't changed much have they, the first fossil octopus look a lot like the ones today'. They agreed and changed the topic. The fact is that the very earliest (going by secular dating methods NOT Biblical ones!) frog fossils look exactly like modern day frogs. Things don't change from their kind. Also things that are dead rot long before they can get covered slowly with sediment and get fossilised after thousands of years of time. Try it yourself at home - fossils are much better made in sudden, catastrophic occurances!

Apparently an atheistic, anti-christian evolutionist switched sides and decided God made more sense of the data. The data. Not because he wanted to believe in a God. Forget his name now but I hope to find it again. I heard about this in a meeting where it was explained that every so often, another scientist switches to belief that the earth shows more signs of catastophic occurance and design than it does being millions of years old and just 'evolving' blindly.

There is a lot more to this topic but it interests me.

Find out if evolution has ever been observed/tested ---http://www.answersingenesis.org/docs/508.asp

'Yes, I've been hearing on Radio 4 today some chap saying that they can'tteach Intelligent Design in schools because that's bringing religion intoschool - teaching Evolution is teaching science. When the interviewer askedwhy they couldn't teach alternative theories alongside each other the chapjust reiterated that one theory was belief and the other was true science -no comparison!!! It was rather annoying to hear such codswallop!' --- Mum

Richard Dork-ins

‘It is absolutely safe to say that if you meet somebody who claims not to believe in evolution, that person is ignorant, stupid or insane (or wicked, but I’d rather not consider that).’ --- Professor Richard Dawkins of Oxford University

Some people really love to show their true colours, don't they. He truely is a lemon.

Four letters of a thousand words

What is the word that means happy and sad and mad and frustrated and confused and barbaric and wild and rested and estatic and ellated and dreaming and awake and sliding and dividing and substandard and masterful and exploding and imploding and furious and agressive and peaceful and racing and sexy and strong and dependant and tasty and claustrophobic and dancing and still and thunderous and silent and silky and hard and broken and healed and edgy and falling and grounded and fighting and victorious and splendid and rich and desperate and affirmed and unsure and saved and burning and cool and running and crawling and begging and demanding and ordering and crying and laughing and ...

Are you reading me like I'm reading you,
Are you transmitting on your old frequency?
Hear me loud and clear,
Message understood.
Chain reaction; 'cause we got that chemistry.
Now I'm standing here with your life below,
Eyes are blazing; is this how it's meant to be?
But I'm not afraid 'cause I'm not alone,
Hear you breathe and I feel light inside of me.
Only one way to go when I'm on the outside looking in.
Tell me what I ask to know,
Don't recognise my own reflection when I'm in this state of mind ...

Called LOVE through dominance.

cheat

http://www.techhouse.us/Forum/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=66682&sid=aa8580ccfff48cb4b329a6dc06e0896d#66682

Read this first. This is written by the guy playing the chars 'BlindingUWscience' and also 'Brraaaaiinsssss', and probably others too.

He is firmly allied against survivors, though as you can see from this link, part of his plan revolves around being a survivor for some of the time.

He is also self-admittedly cheating. His haunt seems to be East Becktown, where PLEB (The Survivor alliance in this area) are aware of his schemes.

If you see his survivor, kill it and dump it outside. Report this to the room and why you did it. I am sure he will tire of cheating in this way once he realises he cannot get any XP.

Why I delete non intellectual comments

Recently a few people have tried to add inflamatory, non intellectual and rather childish comments to my blog because I hold to views that do not coincide with their own. These views are clearly stated and are not in the slightest bit bigotted if anyone actually bothered to read them wholly, rather than just posting their little rant.

A bigot is not someone who doesn't agree with something that other people do agree with. Learn before you chuck words around. We should all do that.

Finally, I speak from experience. What ahorribly dirty word that must be to hear for some, the idea that someone might, from amongst them, actually disagree. Shock and horror. But it's happened. It's called being objective, studying and choosing to look at things in a non secular format.

If anyone wishes to post a disagreement to one of my blogs, please feel free to do so but there are a few rules. One, no cussing or rude language. If I want that I'll go find a playground and listen to children. Two, back up what you are saying and stick to specific points. Finally three, no emotive, blanket shouting such as 'You are so wrong!' Say why, and say it calmly.

We can all disagree, but we do not have to be disagreeable doing it. I thank you.

To be read by all coming to the Posse Party

Having spoken to a couple of ppl, I thought instead of donning rosy specs, I would err on the side of caution and circulate a reminder before we gather this NYE. This is a polite but firm request from your friend who is trying to organise everyone and everything, so please take it in the spirit of celebration & relaxation for all, and NOT as some soap box thing. --- Thanks :)

• I know it’s obvious to probably everyone, but if everyone can just bare in mind the following lame reminder in case someone messes up or forgets: Smoking is properly outside only, not in the doorways.
  
• **Any drugs** are not to be brought in or used anywhere on the premises (if any friends of friends wander in, we may need to point this out, I don’t want anyone inside who is carrying any drugs or anyone taking them in the yard). This includes grass or any recreational drug.
  
• Drinking is fine so long as you are over 18 and not off your face and responsible about it (and also not selfish). In the unlikely event that an under 18 is there, they can drink a little if they’re over 16 like a toast etc, but I won’t have any kids getting plastered. Any under 16 if there are, sorry – none. I am not that liberal.
  
• Please try to bring something or give some cash to those going to Asda on the day. Don’t leave it to three ppl to buy all the drinks and snacks. Most of us are hard up, but only the genuine charity cases should come begging. Plan NOW and keep some Christmas dosh back if in doubt.
  
• Last but not least, in the very VERY unlikely event that there are any fractions, frictions or plain stupidity from anyone, this is what I want to see and DON’T want to see:
  
  a) I do NOT want to see people getting drunk and verbally attacking (swearing at etc) other ppl. If you can’t handle your drink, don’t drink it.
  
  b) If anyone behaves badly, I do NOT want to see someone playing the bitter, hard ass Judge Dredd and deciding it is their responsibility to humiliate the foolish person by beating them up or otherwise wrestling with them. In the past a few ppl have seemed to enjoy the thought of getting to exercise restraint and that attitude is unhealthy and unwelcome.
  
  c) If you are at the slightly more young/hyper/fun loving end of the part scale – Remember that not everyone else is having such a great time as you are and may be feeling bitter or generally grouchy/moody etc. DO NOT taunt or otherwise act like an annoying, flapping, singing prat around anyone who is clearly not reciprocating the party flavour. Respect their right to a bit of peace and quiet and leave them alone.
  
  d) If you are at the slightly more elder/grouchy/sit-back-and-cling-to-bottle end of the party scale – Remember that this is a NYE party. The very essence means that ppl will be acting a bit Leary and having a general good time. Accept this, try to enjoy it but if you really can’t for some reason, do NOT take it out on those who are having fun. If someone fails to not be annoying, don’t threaten them, clobber them or otherwise act like Batman. If it’s really that bad, remove yourself and have someone else remove them – don’t get into a situation where your temper gets the better of you. I do not want to have to separate people.
  
  e) If the above fails and anyone does cause friction with anyone else and others notice – Please immediately before it gets worse can responsible and calm, ‘not taking sides’ persons interject themselves and remove one or both parties quickly and quietly away. At the absolute most, restrain them. I will not tolerate anyone going cop or ‘hard boy’ on anyone else. If party goers annoy you, don’t be at a party where they are bound to be.

That’s it. Most if not all of it is totally known I know … but so that you guys know what I expect in case you see anything else going on, there it is. We’re all into a great time but some ppl’s idea of a great time is different from someone else’s. Try to keep everyone generally together though and not get too clique; keep both rooms used and we should be fine. I like to make sure I have covered every eventuality before the event though.

Anything else goes! Sushi, dresses, stupid shirts, video cameras, lame music, wine etc, cake making, attempts to play poker, or coming as an ex/alt Street Fighter/KoF version of yourself (speak to 'Divefire' about this one!).

Ake Green acquitted of hate speech by Sweden’s highest court

A precedent-setting verdict, upholding freedom of speech and religion, was issued on Tuesday 29 November by the Swedish Supreme Court (SSC). In a unanimous decision Sweden’s highest court acquitted Pastor Ake Green of charges of ‘hate speech’ arising from a sermon he preached in July 2003 denouncing homosexual behaviours.

Green was initially convicted under Sweden’s new hate crimes law, enacted in 2003, which makes illegal any expressions of “disrespect” or “incitement” “towards a group of people,” including groups with “sexual inclinations.” Up to two years in prison is the normal penalty under the law, but if a statement against any particular group is “especially threatening or disrespectful” or “disseminated to a large number of persons,” the crime is considered “major” and the perpetrator can be subject to up to four years in prison.

Green had been convicted and sentenced by a lower court in 2004. It was claimed by some that that he had referred to homosexuals in a disrespectful way, but Green explained to the courts that he was referring to homosexual acts, not persons. Green said at his Supreme Court hearing November 9. “I don't take back what I said. I still think we should be able to voice our convictions without ending up in jail and if that happens I will be showing how ridiculous things have got.”

In a 16-page ruling the Supreme Court said his sermon was protected by freedom of speech and religion under the European Convention on Human Rights. "We are obliged to consider the European Convention on Human Rights and the way in which the convention has been applied by the European Court of Justice," Supreme Court Justice Johan Munck said. "We believe that it is probable that a conviction against Pastor Green would not hold up in the European Court of Justice."

The decision to acquit Pastor Green is very positive, setting a standard for the right to religious freedom and right to freedom of expression. Pastor Green said he was now free to preach the word of God, and the decision was a relief both for him and other preachers.

Andrea Minichiello Williams, Public Policy Officer for the Lawyers’ Christian Fellowship (LCF), commented ‘This decision sets a precedent and it is a very significant victory for freedom of speech and freedom of religion.’

A link to a transcript of Ake Green's sermon can be found at www.akegreen.org

Do you think it's ok to behave in a Gay / Lesbian way sexually?

No, and here's why (a cut from my personal web site).

[ Before commenting on this post, please read http://leozak.blogspot.com/2005/12/why-i-delete-non-intellectual-comments.html . Offensive comments will not get through]

The Biblical scriptures that are part of the reason I do not believe it is ok to follow through on homosexual tendencies are the following: Genesis 19; Leviticus 18:22; Romans 1:26–27; 1 Corinthians 6:9; 1 Timothy 1:10. Three of these are New Testament and two are old. There are other verses that I am not familiar enough with to quote here.

All of the churches currently really seeing God move in real and powerful, wonderful ways hold to the Biblical standard that sex is for marriage only and marriage is one man and one woman, for life. This is evidence from 2005, not from 'ages ago', not that something being old somehow makes it less relevant anyway.

It is not discriminatory especially against any people group because in the Bible, any sexual temptations that were outside of this boundary set by God for the good of His people, were treated exactly the same way - that is they were said to be wrong by God Himself. The church didn't decide to add this later, and the fact that Christians, like everybody else sin, is no reason to say it doesn't count. Priests sin. Pastors sin. Everybody sins and some sins are sexual. Does that mean we give up? No.

Personally, I think that there are many different sexual 'leanings' and tendencies amongst humankind, but that this doesn't change what God tells us to do. Now, quite obviously just as in Biblical times, if a nation or person is anti-God, then they aren't going to care what His word says and are going to go with whatever feels right for them.

This is why I don't hate on people who fall into this category and go with their sexual tendency due to their fallen nature which we all have, which may be various temptations but for some, homosexual temptations may be stronger than in others and some may not have it at all.

Do I think people are 'born gay'? No, I do not. There is no gay gene. I do believe though that some people as they grow up become more susceptible to certain sexual ideas than others, and that for them it may certainly feel as though they are only able to be thrilled with same sex partners.

However, there is a wide body of ex-homosexuals of both sexes out there, living heterosexually through choice, that proves it is not only possible, but probable. This revolts some folk but I am sorry, it happens to be my view based on real experience in the real world.

I don't hate anyone, but I have this viewpoint. I have had gay friends and will in the future I am sure. But that doesn't mean I have to agree that their sexual lifestyle is appropriate in the eyes of God, who I believe in based on evidence. I also speak from a certain volume of experience personally on this issue.

Space boots MkIII & Ignite party

I bought a new pair of indoor 'space-boot' slippers today. They are like suede and soft and lovely like lion's fur, inside. The bottoms were falling off my old ones, so I needed them. Only £8. They are lovely!

Tonight is the Ignite Christmas party and my secret santa is Siobahn. Heh. My present is so crappy but there again ... it's not wrapped. How embarrasing, I think I'll wrap it in a carrier bag.